How widow of Marine from Telford learned to live and love again

He left behind his wife, Joanne, and their 18-month-old son, Matthew.

For Joanne, from Telford, it was only their son that pulled her through the most challenging of times.

"Damian had been at home on leave and returned to Afghanistan on November 22, which was the last time I saw him," she recalls.

"When I was told what had happened it was such a terrible shock and I can still remember exactly how it made me feel.

"We buried Damian on Christmas Eve and I am not sure how we got through Christmas Day.

"But like on so many other occasions, it was our son Matthew that pulled me through.

"I couldn't stay in bed and hide under the duvet, I had to get up and take care of his needs. My parents were also a massive help."

Now more than six years on, Joanne is looking forward and remarried last year.

She remembers, only a few months after Damian died, a friend of hers said that one day she would enjoy life again and eventually meet someone new.

She said: "At the time I thought she was being absolutely horrible, but by the time of Matthew's second birthday in May, I was starting to feel a bit more like myself.

"I wasn't consciously rebuilding my life, but it was happening and I noticed that I was starting to laugh again.

"There were a lot of memorials services to attend, which set me back a bit, but overall I knew I was slowly feeling better."

Joanne is thankful people remember the servicemen who didn't come home, but memorials and commemorations can be difficult for families who have lost someone.

She attends local remembrance parades, such as at St George's Church, Telford, where Damian's ashes are interred, but avoids national events because they are too emotionally draining.

In the aftermath of her husband's death the Royal Marines were hugely supportive.

She said: "I was assigned a welfare officer and if I needed him he would be here, but I don't need his support now and he knows I am doing okay.

"I still keep in touch with some of Damian's friends from the Marines, in fact we had one of them and his wife stay here last weekend.

"They get on well with my husband Lee, who accepts that we will inevitably start talking about Damian.

"I am still close to Damian's parents and his sister Ceri, who I worked with at the Shropshire Star and who introduced me to Damian."

Mrs Corfield, as she is now known, met future husband Lee in early 2010.

She said: "I was 33 and had too many friends who only knew me as a widow. I started talking to Lee online and we went on a date at the Lion pub in Priorslee.

"I had no expectation, he was my first date and I didn't think of it as any more than that."

The night out gave her a welcome opportunity to dress up and feel like a normal person again.

She said: "I was just looking for a Saturday night date to be honest, but things moved on and we started seeing each other on weekdays too.

"I did feel guilty about seeing someone and was worried about what people would think, but I needed to move forward with my life.

"Actually 'move forward' isn't the right phrase, because that implies I made a decision to do something when in fact I was just reacting.

"Matthew took my new relationship in his stride and enjoyed having a man in his life to do fun things with. He also got on very well with Lee's son Liam, who is only three days older than him."

Matthew is intensely proud of his dad, talks about him often and wears his medals at memorial services. He used to have memories of his father, but they have faded, which is something that upsets him a lot.

Joanne said that her son has had a lot support from Scotty's Little Soldiers, an organisation set up to help children who have lost a parent serving in the British armed forces.

She said: "Matthew can spend time with children who have had experiences similar to his, he feels part of a family there."

While still believing, as her husband did, that the work he was doing in Afghanistan was worthwhile, she questions the number of lives lost and the amount of time we have been there.

She said: "I could get angry at the Marines, the government and the people who took Damian's life, but I have to wall those thoughts away for my own sanity.

"My experiences have shown how precious life is, you never know how long you have left and you have to make the most of the time you have.

"I like having a family around me, I had that with Damian and I have been lucky enough to find it again with Lee. Our youngest son Daniel is two years old and has two older brothers to look up to."

When Joanne lost her first husband, she had only just moved back to Telford from the south coast. She said: "We moved to Telford in September 2008 in anticipation of Damian leaving the Marines, which he intended to do the following May.

"My parents live in Telford and having them close helped me so much.

"It is nice here and we'll stay while the boys are at school, but we also love the south of England."

If there is one piece of advice Mrs Corfield would give it's take more photographs. She said: "I am so glad of all the photos I took of Damian, which are all over the house.

"And every few months I get someone to take a photo of me and the boys, because you just never know how valuable those photos might be."