Lord Hill must retain pride of place
He survived the Battle of Waterloo, narrowly escaping the indignity of having Abba singing about him 159 years later, but now Lord Hill is looking a bit the worse for wear.
Bits of him have been dropping off. It happens to us all eventually. The difference being that when bits of Lord Hill drop off, there's an outside chance it could kill someone.
The Lord Hill in question is 17ft tall and made of stone. He also stands on top of a 133ft tall column, making one wonder what he's compensating for.
The statue, which proudly looks out over Shrewsbury, could be replaced if its decided it is beyond repair.
Restoration experts have carried out detailed tests to look at the extent of the damage, which could lead to extensive repairs or, if that proves too expensive, the statue being taken down.
Now, as we know, our local authorities don't like blowing a load of cash on any sort of statue, so we can rest easy knowing that they will make exactly the right decision about what to do.
But if poor old Lord Hill cannot be saved, how about putting that other piece of icon Shrewsbury public art up there instead?
After all the Slinky (or, to give it its proper name, the Whatthehellisthatsupposedtobe) cost more than the Angel of the North. But the Angel of the North is MASSIVE. It's 66ft tall, with a 177ft wing span. Quantum Leap is only 40ft tall. And doesn't have wings. Whatsmore, it's hidden away in the town centre.
BUT, if we shoved it on top of a 133ft column you'd see if for miles. Alright, you wouldn't. But it would show how proud we are of our £1 million marvel.
Of course the downside is that a strong wind could shift it and then, like slinkys since the dawn of time (it's a well-known fact that cavemen used coiled springs to hunt) it would makes its way down the column and could end up in Wellington.
Of course, if Lord Hill does bite the dust, he must be replaced with a clone. Lord Hill is Shrewsbury's (ish) most distinguished soldier - a trusted second to the Duke of Wellington and it is absolutely vital that his contribution is remembered.
Hopefully, he is not beyond repair.
As long as the price is right.
If not he'll have to come on down (do you see what I did there?).
But if that is the case a new statue of him is needed. A new king of the Hill if you will.
