Lee Nelson, Oakengates Theatre @ The Place
He stood on stage - wide-eyed with a manic stare and a fixed beaming smile – simulating some of the things he wanted to do to the blindfolded young blonde sat before him.
This was Lee Nelson at his most crass and in full flow.
It couldn't have been more blatant – the girl's boyfriend was sat on the opposite side of the stage playing his part in the sort of Saturday night TV game show that would make your auntie blush.
The mock show saw two ladies trying to identify their other halves by touch alone - and not in the Lionel Richie/Hello way. Nelson got in on the act as a last-minute substitute for one of the men . . . and I'll let your imaginations do the rest.
Nelson's show isn't for the faint-hearted. He brings his own snapshot of morally-bankrupt aspects of life in rough South London to the stage with a stereotypically cheeky chappy persona.
That requires a degree of on-stage arrogance – and he had enough to keep two boozy hecklers in check all night and to whip up the crowd for the cringeworthy horrors to come.
Nelson's act relies hugely on audience participation – and it was when he was either quizzing people in the crowd or hauling them on stage.
Poor Matthew from Birmingham was given a "gay exorcism" on stage by Pastor Daniel Doolay – one of Nelson's alter-egos - which ended with the audience member topless and receiving a full-on snog.
Premier League "footballer" Jason Bent also made an appearance on stage to defend his trade – making sure he left some phglem on the stage in the process to keep up appearances.
As you can tell, it wasn't exactly a night of sophistication. But that didn't matter – the crowd loved it.
As well as the two couples who took part in the game show, other heroes of the night from the audience included 72-year-old David – who impressed Nelson with his "weapon" of a walking stick and happily rose to the comic's challenge by staying awake for the whole show. And there was also a feisty Lithuanian woman who insisted her command of English was better than many of the natives.
The Lee Nelson Live tour may not be to everyone's taste – but as far as everyone leaving Oakengates Theatre last night was concerned, it was well good.
By Peter Kitchen
