TV review: The Secret Life of Uri Geller

But then there's another side to me, the little boy who wants to believe the magnificent, the weird and the wonderful. I'm open to the idea of anything within that file marked 'X' – after all, the truth is out there.

So with these two conflicting views of the world I was obviously fascinated by the idea of Uri Geller (yes, the spoon bender) being a globetrotting spy, and excited to see last night's documentary exploring his 'secret' life as a deep black agent.

Were his psychic powers used by the mysterious Israeli intelligence agency Mossad to knock out terrorist radar systems? Did his sixth sense uncover a warren of North Korean tunnels?

Was he able to point Desert Storm forces the way to scud missile launchers? The starry-eyed believer in me was on the edge of my seat.

And then Uri unveiled his car covered in misshapen cutlery.

Within five minutes of the beginning, Geller had gone from Daniel Craig to David Niven, and frankly the rest of the programme reminded me much of that original Casino Royale farce.

What at first promised to be an interesting, questioning, and potentially plausible investigation into espionage dabbling in the paranormal, quickly became a spoof.

The documentary attempted to tease, with scientific, military and government 'experts' speculating as to the cloak and dagger roles Geller might have assumed, with many of them stopping just before they revealed too much information – one of them even warned the director that he would have to kill him if he said any more.

The programme was interspersed with interviews with the man himself, only ever saying that he 'couldn't talk about it'.

At one stage even Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who you would think would be a credible source, makes a cameo appearance – but talks about bending bananas.

Bananas indeed.

There was nothing even resembling evidence that may have left me wondering whether Mulder and Scully were right all along.

All we were presented with were some of Uri's old home movies, and muddy-brown images apparently filmed by an American research agency demonstrating some of his powers (which for some reason were set to cello music reminiscent of 1970s British sitcoms).

The whole programme was a send-up of the man, with interviews and commentaries accompanied by the theme tunes to Austin Powers, James Bond, Mission Impossible and Doctor Who.

How then can I entertain the idea that at one point or another Geller was employed by the Mossad or the CIA (and others he can't tell us about)? How can I believe that he was 'reactivated' to work for someone (he can't tell us about) after 9/11? How am I supposed to consider the notion that he did (or did not – Uri can't tell us) disable terrorist radars?

I'm sorry, but the little boy in me is just not buying it, or the documentary.

Then again, perhaps that's what I'm supposed to believe.