Woman: It's good to talk

It’s good to talk, as we often hear, but it seems fewer families are now finding time to all sit down to eat and chat over the dinner table. Bringing the whole family together for meal times can be a challenge due to our increasingly busy lives and often conflicting schedules.

The modern distractions of television and smartphones can also lead to less time spent simply chatting. But experts say it is one of the most important activities families can do together with many benefits for children and parents. Conversations at tea time are said to help improve communication between parents and children and give everyone the chance to connect.

It is a great time to tell stories, laugh and catch up on the daily events that are important to each family member, which will bring everyone closer.

Manners

It can also be the perfect opportunity to teach youngsters appropriate table manners, meal etiquette and social skills such as not talking over anyone. While it’s also widely believed that families eating together at the table tend to have more home cooked meals which also helps to teach children about food preparation and cooking skills.

But a recent survey of more than 2,000 families, however, revealed that only 29 per cent of them eat together at the dinner table and, of those that do, less than half said they chatted as they tucked into their food.

In the poll, carried out by offer and discount website Voucher Codes Pro, some respondents said the table was just for special occasions while others told how family members tend to eat in different rooms.

But more worryingly 68 per cent said they were ‘too tired’ to spend time catching up on each other’s news at meal times while 50 per cent also admitted to being too distracted by technology such as smartphones and tablets.

Suzie Hayman, a trustee for Family Lives, said: “It horrifies me how many families do not realise how important it is to sit down around a table to share a meal and chat or how fun it is.

“I believe it’s absolutely vital and I wish I could make a law for families to sit around the table for meals. If you look back and remember all the family meals you had together as a child, you realise all the benefits you gained from having that time together.

“If you sit around the table eating you will talk to one another about bits of your day and then parents will understand where their children are at and the children will understand where their parents are at.

“It helps to develop communication skills and gets children used to talking which will help with their future friendships and relationships. It’s about learning to talk about anything.

“If children are used to talking about trivial things with their parents, when they have something really important to say they know their parents will listen.

“It’s also about healthy eating. When you share a meal together around the table, you are more inclined to prepare it yourself and you’re more likely to have healthier meals rather than takeaways or pizza in front of the TV.

“It’s about sharing love because a lot of love goes into cooking a meal for the family.

“Learning table manners, etiquette, learning that you don’t speak when you mouth is full, how to use cutlery and how to chew properly all happens at the table. It’s probably not going to happen if you are eating from a plate on your lap in front of the TV.”

There is plenty of advice available for families to help them get the conversation started.

For younger ones, simply asking ‘what did you do today?’ will encourage them to get involved in the chit chat. Older children will often relish the chance to tell stories about what’s happened at school as well as their interests.

Amusing

Parent can share details of amusing things that may have happened during the day or use it as a chance to tell more personal stories such as how they met or about their grandparents or other ancestors.

Photographs can also be great conversation starters and provide plenty of opportunities for children of all ages to join in. Make sure every family member gets the chance to share something about their day so that everyone feels included.

With teenagers, if you know some subjects such as homework and messy rooms are likely to lead to arguments then make these topics off limits while you eat. This will help encourage reluctant teens to get more involved.

While banning phones and tablets at the table can help to prevent young (and older) minds wandering during the conversation. Remember that it doesn’t really matter what you chat about, the most important thing is that you talk to each other.

l Further advice is available from the Family Lives website www.familylives.org.uk or the charity’s confidential helpline on 0808 800 2222.