This GoFundMe story of dating woe might be the internet’s greatest anecdote to date

It’s encouraging to know that the power of a quality pub anecdote still persists in the modern world, and this guy’s dating tale only goes to prove that point.

The story begins after a Tinder date to Nando’s, and becomes interesting during wine and a Scientology documentary, as one would imagine it might. However, when the gentleman’s date couldn’t flush her poo and resorted to wrapping it in tissue and throwing it out of the window, that’s where the story gets out of control.

“I was understandably concerned, and told her we would go outside, bag up the offending poo in the garden, bin it, and pretend the whole sorry affair had never happened,” the gentleman wrote on a GoFundMe page.

At that point, there seemed no other option but to smash the window to retrieve the item in question, but the man’s date had other ideas.

“Being an amateur gymnast, she was convinced that she could reach into the window and pull the poo out, using the tried and tested ‘inside out bag as glove’ technique,” he said. “Unfortunately she couldn’t reach.

“She climbed further in and had the same problem. Eventually I agreed to give her a boost up and into the window. She climbed in head first after her own turd, reached deeper into the window, bagged it up, and passed it out, over the top and back into the toilet from whence it came.”

It was then, however, that this particular tale took an unexpected twist, as it became apparent that, while the poo had been retrieved, there appeared no way of retrieving the lady.

Fearing for her safety, the gentleman phoned the fire brigade.

“Bristol’s finest were on scene sirens blairing (sic) in a matter of minutes,” he said. “Once they had composed themselves after surveying the scene in front of them, they set to work removing my date from the window using all of their special firemen hammers and tools.”

And while the woman was rescued, the window had to be destroyed in the process – that’s where GoFundMe comes in.

“I’m not complaining, they did what they had to do,” wrote our narrator of the firemen. “Problem is, I’ve been quoted north of £300 to replace the window. As a postgraduate student, that is a significant chunk of my monthly budget (in fact, that is my monthly budget).”

However, thanks to some generous donations (including £50 from Caitlin Moran) it looks as though fundraising targets for a new window have been smashed.

At the time of writing over £1,000 has been raised of the £200 target, with the surplus funds promised to two charities: Toilet Twinning, a water and sanitation charity initiative, and the Fire Fighters Charity, who offer support to fire fighters.

To read the full story, and to donate, click here.