Robbie Williams, The Christmas Present - album review
What the heck is going on with the music world for Christmas 2019?
The most unlikely of duos are fighting it out to be the best festive crooner of all. It’s not Michael Bublé and Mariah Carey embroiled in chart-topping rivalry this year but…Chris Kamara and Staffordshire’s own Robbie Williams.
In the case of the latter, the former Take That star has released an absolute whopper of a record that lasts for 28 songs if the extended version is purchased and an incredible one hour and 32 minutes of music.
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To put that into context, that’s the same length as Disney/Pixar 2001 hit movie Monsters, Inc. or Kevin Smith’s 1994 comedy Clerks.
It’s filled with weird and…more weird numbers which range from spoken greetings to people, loving covers of Christmas hits from years gone by, and duets with the likes of Jamie Cullum, Sir Rod Stewart and former world heavyweight boxing champion Tyson Fury.
This isn’t a dream, this has actually happened. But in many ways, should it have?
I mean, are lyrics such as “That girl is whoa, whoa whoa/Yo, need no mistletoe/My girl’s the finest, the fliest/No ho, ho, ho/Y’all feel me?” really what we’re going for at a warm, fuzzy family Christmas?
Need any more? Check out, “Love that thing you did with the scampi/Happy Birthday, Jesus Christ”. Has somebody let David Brent loose with a random lyric generator and told him to go lose himself after a few pints with Gareth and scribble down some ideas together?
There’s some touching moments such as a track for his youngest daughter called Coco’s Christmas Lullaby. But moments like this might be better reserved for private renditions rather than public consumption.
He leans on his love of swing for big band tracks like Yeah! It’s Christmas, and these are some of the stronger moments on the album as A) it’s something he can do well and, B) it suits the time of year.
But the bonkers moments include Bad Sharon, featuring Fury, where the sports star starts shouting things like “I can’t believe it’s Christmas” despite featuring on an album of music specifically for…Christmas.
It will be interesting to revisit this in years to come and see whether people remember it as good or bad.
Rating: 5/10
Robbie Williams will play Port Vale's Vale Park Stadium in Stone-on-Trent on June 20, 2020
