Jane Horrocks says mother’s Alzheimer’s makes her feel ‘orphaned’
The actress spoke during an appearance on the Marie Curie podcast.
Jane Horrocks has said that she feels like an orphan despite her mother still being alive.
The Absolutely Fabulous star’s father died eight years ago, while her mother is living with Alzheimer’s disease and is unable to recognise her or care for herself.
The 56-year-old said she sometimes found herself talking about her mother in the past tense.
Appearing on the On The Marie Curie Couch podcast, she said: “In effect I’ve been orphaned, yes. Even though my mum is still alive I do feel like I, yes, I am quite an orphan now.”
Referring to the word orphan, she added: “I suppose it makes me feel a bit rootless I suppose, and desperate to find something that’s grounded.
“Even though I am moving house, I suppose I’m in search of new roots and new beginnings so that I can put all that past in the past and move forward in a positive way.”
Horrocks, who stars in forthcoming Sky 1 comedy Bloods, told podcast host Jason Davidson, a bereavement specialist, that her mother’s illness made her feel “quite useless”.
She added: “I think it’s this feeling of redundancy, which I know she felt as a mother as well when she felt redundant as a mother, and I feel redundant as a daughter now.”
Horrocks, whose father developed Parkinson’s disease then dementia before his death, added: “I often refer to my mum in the past, that she’s not alive anymore, so that’s a very strange thing.
“People correct me and say: ‘Hang on a minute, I didn’t realise your mum had died’.
“I go: ‘Oh no, she’s not. No, gosh. Yes, I don’t know why I’m speaking of her in the past tense’.
“Yes, I mean, it’s looking back at videos, and I’m in the process of making a little art film about my mum with old footage that I’ve got of her, and to think that that person isn’t with me anymore is pretty awful.
“I have to put up a really strong barrier to deal with it. I’m in the process of moving house as well, and lots of things have changed recently in my life that I’ve thrown everything up in the air to see how things land, and I think it is a direct result of my mum having Alzheimer’s.”
Jane Horrocks’ On The Marie Curie Couch episode is available now
