Jack Averty: Some like it hot, but some like to have a Brit of a good old moan
Trips to the seaside, those glorious walks along the canals and donning a pair of shades – yup, it’s that time of year already – in less than two weeks, Wednesday June 21 to be precise, British summer time officially starts.
And no doubt we’ll all be moaning about how it’s just too damn hot – well, if this week’s weather is anything to go by, that’s debatable – but in theory we will be.
We really do love a moan about summer don’t we, us Brits? It’s ironic, especially as we spend the rest of the year complaining about every other season and praying for summer. Then summer arrives and next thing we’re back on our knees praying for it to be over so we can stop sweating and overheating.
We seem to have some complex built into us that we can’t enjoy something and, if for some God forsaken reason we are, then something must be about to go wrong.
June 21 will hit, all the bosses will be taking calls from their ‘sick’ employees and everyone will be piling into the seaside towns and hitting the beaches – if it’s hot enough.
For about an hour or so everyone will be having a great time, day off work, chilling in the sunshine with family and sun tan lotion slapped on. Then, slowly, it will start to dawn on people that actually they are British and laying back and having a good time is simply against our unwritten constitution.
The first moan will normally come from a sleep deprived dad, up since 4am to drive the family to Aberystwyth and desperately wishing he was in a beer garden somewhere enjoying the sun properly. Sent to get the ice creams, no doubt he’ll be faced with a queue so long people are joining it just for the sake of queueing – it’s what us Brits do best.
“Two quid for a 99 with a flake? It is called a 99 for a reason mate. Come on kids we’re leaving.”
Then, from across the beach, there will be the good old gripe of the sand being too hot as a mother fusses, hastily strapping sandals on their precious child. “I can’t walk on this, it’s literally burning the sole of my feet off. Geoffrey I got my toenails painted yesterday and it’s just going to melt off, we’re going home.”
Kids of course will moan too, they are young and haven’t fully grasped the art of classic British moaning, but will chip in nonetheless. And why not? They have a shiny PlayStation at home and are one game away from the winning the league on Fifa, but instead are stuck in Aberystwyth of all places being forced to enjoy the sunshine. Life is so cruel.
Absurd isn’t it – why can’t we just enjoy the sunshine? Yet we just seem to love a good moan.
Order a coffee and it will be too hot or too cold or it won’t have enough sugar or it won’t be big enough.
Go on holiday and the weather won’t be what you expected or room service won’t leave a chocolate on your pillow or you will have packed the wrong clothes despite bringing your entire wardrobe with you.
Walking is another classic – us Brits love walking, well at least the idea of it. It’s the perfect exercise since, well, it’s not really exercise. You start off well enough, taking in the glorious British countryside views and strolling about enjoying your day. Then a slight pain starts playing up in your leg and the onslaught of moaning begins.
“I never even wanted to go for a walk,” (yes you did), “What is the point anyway, we’re not achieving anything” (you are).
We’ve all been there, in one scenario or another, but perhaps we ought to take the bull by the horns and make a pledge to just enjoy life, especially this summer.
No more moaning and whining, just appreciating what we have in front of us and – realistically – just how good our lives are.
There are probably far better role models in life, but take former Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher, who turned out to be the hero of last Sunday’s One Love Manchester concert when he flew back from another gig in Germany in the nick of time to perform.
Putting aside his incredibly questionable history of drugs, fights and other eyebrow-raising life choices, in a recent interview he gave people an insight into his life and outlook on it.
He said: “I’m the kind of guy that, when I see geese, I go: ‘All right, geezers?’ and I think that’s hilarious. And they’re just looking at me going: ‘Like I haven’t heard that one before, you p****.”
If his goose anecdote was not clear enough, he later clarified when asked about his life: “Yeah, very happy. I’m happy as I could be. I’m a pretty happy-go-lucky guy. I don’t sit and dwell on things.”
We could all take a leaf out of Liam’s book, maybe not the harassing of geese, but the not being too serious part and enjoying life.
We seem to have this obsession with moaning about life and it never being good enough for us – but it is. Take a step back, look around and think about it. Sure there are flaws here and there, but what is moaning about them going to achieve?
Concentrate on the good parts, the parts we take for granted, and enjoy them to the full before it’s too late.
You and I are not going to live forever, regardless of what Liam preaches.
