Jack Averty: Win or lose, be a sport and take part

Unfortunately children aren’t stupid and they soon learn one thing – it really is all about winning.

They believe you to begin with, that it is just about the taking part, but it soon becomes apparent it really isn’t.

That feeling of winning is one of the most addictive drugs around, and once children get a taste for it it is impossible to try and tell them it is not important.

It is a cold truth but one that is necessary to accept to understand why children who are so obsessed with sport at a young age go on to give it up not too further down the line.

The joy of sport soon gets sucked out of you when you’re constantly losing and, despite trying your best, realising you won’t ever be as good as some of your friends.

I was never particularly sporty as a kid. I dabbled mainly in rugby, cricket and tennis but suffered the same fate as so many other children – I was s***.

Being crap isn’t a problem to begin with, but as you keep dropping the ball, getting clean bowled and smashing your serve into the net your confidence takes a hit.

Compound the confidence drop with watching your best friends get picked for the school team and local clubs and you have a toxic mix that ultimately leads to you falling out of love with sport.

Of course this isn’t the only factor, children grow up into stroppy teenagers, find a taste for going out and discover the twisted drug that is love. All of a sudden sport falls to the back of the priority queue.

However it is imperative to not lose sight of sport, as you can only get to experience it in its true glory when you become an adult.

There will always come a time in your life when you come back to it. You’ll either be desperately lonely, looking for any excuse to get out the house and away from your screaming kids or just looking to make a positive lifestyle change.

Of course you will be scarred by your experiences as a child but there is nothing to fear about throwing yourself back in at the deep end and dusting off your old gear.

See playing sports as an adult is exactly how you imagine it should be as a child – it’s all about the taking part. When playing as an adult you’re joined by people who fit into the exact same category as you – those who were ok at sport as a child, got fed up and gave it up, and are now coming back to it.

The superstars that knocked your confidence as a kid are now either professionals or playing in leagues and at heights you couldn’t even dream of reaching.

So you’re left with the stragglers. You win sometimes, lose sometimes but you always play with a smile on your face because you’re enjoying just getting to take part again.

Dream

As a child you hold onto that dream of maybe one day becoming a professional sportsman, but by the time you’re an adult that dream has died a very painful death.

Instead what you’re left with is a group of people who have come to terms with the fact that they’re not going to be the next Andy Murray, haven’t played tennis in 10 years, and are just so excited to pick a racket up again.

Sport as a child can be incredibly stressful and disheartening and no one can be blamed for giving it up. There is an untold amount of pressure put on children in sport, some of it external and some of it self-inflicted, that means only the cream of the crop thrive.

Parents are as guilty as anyone applying pressure to their children, whether they mean to or not.

The psychological toll of seeing the agony in your parents’ faces when you trip yourself up when through on goal is not something that is easily forgotten.

But the crappy experiences as a child set us up to enjoy sport to its full potential as an adult.

Your 10-year-old self thinks its all about the winning – your 30-year-old self knows it is all about taking part.