Matthew Panter: Don't let setbacks define you

University days – a new chapter, described by many as the ‘best days of your life’ – proved to be anything but in the fledgling stages of my own personal experience.

Moving miles away from home, and the comfort blanket of your friends and family, can be a tough thing to deal with in itself, particularly if you are very close.

But my first few weeks, settling into accommodation at the University of Essex, with fellow new students are not ones I look back on as halcyon days.

My first drama was self-inflicted and involved alcohol. Eager to create a good impression on new flatmates on our first night out and, probably seeking the confidence you think beer brings, I over indulged. The result? I threw up in a bar, in full view of my prospective new friends. It was something I never really lived down and the embarrassment hit me like a slap in the face.

Which is exactly what happened on day three of my university life. I was punched in the face.

Exploring the town of Colchester for the first time with flatmates, we were happily strolling along when a car pulled up, with four men in.

One got out, walked up to our group and planted his fist fully into my face, running back to the car, laughing before the group motored off. Now I am not sure why this happened. Or why it happened to me, out of a group of six or seven of us.

Maybe he didn’t like my walk. I mean, I think I just put one foot in front of the other like any normal person does and my movement is pretty nondescript. Put it this way, I don’t tend to strut down the road like John Travolta in Staying Alive. However, maybe he thought differently.

It might be he didn’t like my curtain-style haircut. It was bad but I long to have such a style nowadays. Or maybe he didn’t like something about my look in general and thought I had a face only a mother could love.

Whatever it was – I’ll never know – he got a kick out of it but left me licking my wounds and desperate to go home. I’d had enough of university after three days.

These were, of course, days when you could easily feel isolated. I didn’t have a mobile phone – just those BT cards with credit on them – and going online was pretty restricted too.

I recall, at that point, becoming very inhibited. I’d stay in my room for long spells, popping out only to grab something to eat – and that was only when I felt like it. My appetite diminished.

I slept in quite a lot for a couple of weeks and dragging myself out of bed for any early morning lectures was a challenge. I might have quit university at this stage. I really wanted to and I’m not sure what stopped me really. Perhaps I didn’t want to let people down – I was the first in our family to study for a degree.

But gradually I found some inner resolve. I found studies interesting, developed some great friendships and threw myself more into the whole experience. It helped me to grow as a person, developing cooking, finance and other life skills. And it all culminated in a 2:1 BA Honours in History with my ceremony watched by Nelson Mandela, no less, who visited the university in July 1997 to accompany Graça Machel, who subsequently became his wife, and who was awarded an Honorary Degree in recognition of her work with the UN on children’s rights.

That degree is one of the proudest moments in my life, not because of the work I put in but because I wanted to quit two years before.

I’m reflecting back to student days only because I’ve been looking at a Star supplement, called What Now?. It reminded me of what a tough time it can be – waiting for A-level results and also, should you get the grades, how daunting it can be to start university.

For some, things go smoothly, but for others – like my early university days – there will be setbacks. But, whatever your circumstances, it’s important to remember now, more than ever, there’s so much support out there to help you on the right path to suit you.

It means you can overcome any obstacles in the road – with exams or starting uni. The world is your oyster.