You can't beat the cistern

"I don't know why," she says. "If I've got a houseplant at home it just dies, but they thrive here."

Which is just fine because these splendid public toilets, manned with tender loving care by Jean and her sister Shirley Moore, have been named the best-dressed in Britain, offering desperate shoppers a proper home-from-home experience thanks to the presence of potted plants, pretty pictures and pop music.

At a time when public loos - particularly ones that are attended - are fast disappearing from the British high street, the award from the British Toilet Association, which campaigns to protect the longevity of latrines, is one that flushes Jean and Shirley with pride.

The framed certificate for Britain's best-dressed loo takes pride of place at the loo block near Central Car Park in English Walls - along with letters of thanks from satisfied customers.

Although some trade is being taken from them by nearby supermarkets which also have toilet facilities, these loos are still well used and provide a vital function.

On a typical day around 300 shoppers beat a path to the conveniences, owned by Oswestry Borough Council. It might cost 20p to spend a penny these days but users certainly get their money's worth at Jean's and Shirley's loos.

Smiles are free for a start. Regulars know the sisters and appear jolly. As they hand their pennies over to the sisters on the cash desk they say things like: 'What film is playing today?', 'Can I sit on the back row again?', and 'Is it buy one get one free?'

The humour, perhaps a British way of overcoming an eternal embarrassment that a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, continues on walls of the loos.

One loo rule states: "Sing loudly, there is no lock on the door".

Although there is a certain amount of dirty work to be done, Jean and Shirley agree that they like their jobs.

"I enjoy the job because you deal with the public and you get a lot of nice people here - and it's nice when they say 'nice clean toilets'," says Jean.

The sisters' job is a valued one and there are perks: the British public is very complimentary.

One user, who declines to be named, says: "It's important that a town has public toilets and that they are nice and clean and safe. These loos are just the ticket."

Just like any public space, the loos have on occasion attracted lowlife and Shirley says they've found used syringes lying in one of the blocks, but on the whole they say attended toilets are places that members of the public feel safe to use.

Says Jean: "Toilets should be attended because you feel more secure going into them, and especially so for children - if a child shouts out you know that someone is going to be there.

Teenagers can be a handful at times though. She adds: "You do get some kids messing around and throwing water but if you do catch them you just shout in.

"And we do get abuse over the price sometimes. People say they are already paying water rates and don't see why they should pay to use the toilet."

The also get the odd piece of abuse from users, but again it's usually from youngsters who don't have to pay for the privilege of the privy.

For their 20p there is even entertainment laid on, courtesy of the in-house music centre. Robbie Williams sings his radio hit Rock DJ and Jean and Shirley are like a pair of disc jockeys as they pipe the soothing tunes into the cubicles of the ladies' and gents'.

It certainly adds a certain atmosphere and a certain panache, as do other homely touches.

As if we didn't already know the value of public toilets at a time when councils up and down the country are selling them off and developing the sites for more lucrative uses, look no further than another poem on the wall, an ode to Oswestry's public loos.

In Jean and Shirley's office, the nerve centre of their operation, there are thank-you cards pinned to the wall and passers-by say the sisters are clearly worth their weight in gold.

But there's more to a good loo attendant than attending the loo. Jean and Shirley also watch people's shopping, their dogs and their babies while they nip off to spend a penny.

The issue of flushing away public toilets from high streets was even a hot topic for discussion on BBC Newsnight in recent weeks after the government was made to think twice before closing our "away-from-home" conveniences.

Richard Chisnell, director of the British Toilet Association, says the penny has finally dropped.

"We have at last managed to convince the government that this is a serious quality-of-life issue and, with public and media support, something will have to be done to improve things.

"Members of the public everywhere must continue to make their voices heard by local politicians."

Actions, however, speak louder than words: the message is, use them or loo-se them.

Jean is philosophical: "It's a fact of life: the three things you have to do are eat and drink and go to the loo."

Here's that poem in full:

The best toilets in the land, Oswestry

As a port of call it's essential

To fulfil a deep human need,

It's also a pleasure to visit

And for me it's a haven indeed.

It is light and fresh and airy,

So beautifully clean,

Well run with lots of extras,

A place that's a sight to be seen.

Some might come there walking 'funny'

Having left it nearly too late,

Some come and loudly grumble

And the twenty pence fee they berate.

Can't they see it is value for money

Offering peace and ample space

A private place of safety

To check your purse and pace.

Admittance is by ticket

But it's not a slot machine,

It's a human hand that issues -

There's a lady behind that screen.

With her gentle smile she's special,

I salute the way she serves

And keeps her patch so ship shape -

Respect she well deserves.

Ignore her at your peril,

She welcomes young and old,

She's patient and long-suffering

And worth her weight in gold.

(By someone proud of the provision made by her hometown)

Are there any other public toilets in Shropshire which you think deserve to be singled out for particular praise - or maybe a place in the hall of shame? E-mail starfeatures@shropshirestar.co.uk with your views

By Ben Bentley