Life's new chapter not easy for Shropshire writer Joan, 96

Joan Barlow, who is 96, has written a book called Fractured Times.

In it she pays tribute to the dedication of her carers at Farcroft, in Wellington, but also speaks of the difficulty in losing independence.

Talking of her old beloved bungalow, she says: “Then I could still shuffle from room to room to make a cuppa, or heat some soup for lunch.

“Now I am wheeled down to a large dining room where we all eat together. Some have to be fed with a spoon, like babies. I shudder.”

Having recently turned 96, Joan is one of the oldest writers in Britain to have a new book out.

And it is one which will resonate with many older people who find their lives completely changed by having to go into a residential home.

Joan said: “I’m an independent woman and now I have to take orders from everybody. I have to abide by rules and regulations. Until you come here you haven’t any idea.

“On the other hand, when I get into bed I can pull a bell and have somebody to come and help me to the toilet, which I couldn’t do anywhere else. I get my food and general welfare.”

Her latest booklet, Fractured Times, is a reflection on her changed circumstances and includes wistful reminiscences of her old, disappeared world.

“Imagine me living in a bungalow, a stone’s throw from here, being my own woman, independent. Although I had two sticks to walk with, I did everything I wanted to do. I went on holiday and did all the things like that.

“Then I fell on a non-slip surface in a bathroom. I went to hospital. I was told I would always be in a wheelchair and have to have someone to help me. My daughter had the unenviable task then of finding me an old people’s home to go to.”

Her “lovely bungalow” was cleared of her stuff so it could be rented out.

“The money goes to keeping me in this room, with my late husband’s pension, and my pension and any other bits of money I can find. This is one of the reasons I am writing still.”

Her book provides just a little bit extra towards paying for her new circumstances which arose a year ago. “The story of the book is a transition from being independent, to dependency.”

In Fractured Times she says that for a long time she could not settle in this strange place away from her bungalow, or accept new ways and the routines of strangers.

“After six months or more I became reconciled to living with strangers, with other residents whose lives have been fractured like mine.

“They too have lost houses and homes that were once filled with memories. They have learned to accept this new life we share, this different life,” she writes.

She recalls her neat lawn, the flower beds and their colours changing with the seasons, and the pigeons which nested in the cherry tree outside her bungalow window.

“I wish they were here and looking in at me, just like they used to, like the old days when I could still shuffle from room to room to make a cuppa, or heat some soup for lunch.

“Now I am wheeled down to a large dining room where we all eat together. Some have to be fed with a spoon, like babies. I shudder. At least I can still hold a knife and fork - just. Sometimes I resort to a spoon, but I hold it myself.”

From her window she can gaze at the hills beyond.

“If only I could walk once again, among the fields of grass and wild flowers . . . as I sit here in my room, hour after hour, day after day, staring at four walls, I remember those times gone by.”

She writes that she smiles without mirth when she notes that she still has outdoor clothes in her wardrobe.

“What do I need of outside clothes?”

Mrs Barlow, whose maiden name was McLoughlin, was brought up at Norton-on-Tees on Teesside. She turned to writing late in life.

“My husband Vin died in 2002 and I was at a loss for something to do.”

She took a creative writing course at Telford College of Arts and Technology, and several little books have been the result. She is registered blind – she has a little sight in just one eye – and was a regular listener of East Shropshire Talking Newspaper, and her books have been serialised by that charity and put on CD.

“She is quite a remarkable lady,” said Robert Green, chairman of ESTN.

He says Fractured Times will also be serialised by the talking newspaper.

Mrs Barlow has the help of her friend Olga Merrick in translating her writings and memories into print. “It’s like doctor’s writing, but she can interpret it.”

And her writing days are by no means over, as she is brimming with ideas. Her latest idea is . . . well, you’ll just have to wait for the book.