'We try and help families create a new kind of normal' - How hospice support services step up to help before and after the worst happens

While many think of Severn Hospice as providing the physical care people need at the end of their life, the charity's team of support services are helping advise on anything from practical finance issues to providing bereavement counselling.

Sharon Jones, 53, is Severn Hospice's Patient and Family Support Services Manager. Her team deals with around 25 referrals a week - and time is always of the essence.

It is a role that comes with huge responsibility, and looks after a raft of areas around the issues families face when a loved one dies.

A team of 29 people, including chaplains, social workers and bereavement support volunteers, are all on hand to guide and support people through the process.

Sharon explains how they work with people from their diagnosis, offering support on where to go to fix practical issues such as wills, power of attorney, housing matters and more.

She said: "It is all those practical things people things where people think "I have had this diagnosis, I need to get my affairs in order".

"A lot of people want to plan their own funerals in advance so we help with that."

But that's not all: emotional support is a huge part of the service, with many needing help to process the reality of what is happening - and how to cope after it happens.

Sharon said: "A lot of people question what life is about, so that is a huge role for our chaplains."

She added: "We do a lot of pre-bereavement work, a lot of work for how families can tell children what is happening, a lot of work with a toolkit to support them and their children through that."

The support takes different shapes with a regular monthly bereavement cafe and a group which meets once a month on both hospice sites in Shrewsbury and Telford.

Sharon said: "We recognised about a year ago we had quite an extensive waiting list for people wanting bereavement help.

"So we set up a bereavement hub, like an informal drop-in coffee morning once a month.

"There are no specific requirements, just come along, meet us, and meet other people going through the same things.

"That has proved to be so beneficial and we have about 23 regulars attending."

Sharon said the nature of some patients mean they are not prepared for the practicalities of what is happening - or the emotional shock.

She said: "What we are seeing as well is a lot of patients who have a diagnosis and have a really very short period before their end of life, because it is a shock - because they are in their 40s or 50s, it is not what you think about until that day arrives.

"You can tell them about the importance of doing those things so they have control, that their actions and wishes will be adhered to after they die.

"They are never fun conversations but for us to be able to say 'have you thought about this - no I haven't' and you do get the feeling there's a sense of relief.

"It is a privilege, as hard as it is, and I am not going to say it is easy.

"It can be challenging because what you need to be aware of is we are all human beings, we have all had our issues in life. You never know when you meet a family, what place they are in, their thought processes and how they are managing their emotions. You are faced with a lot of anger sometimes when people have a new diagnosis and it's a short term.

"For us it is about helping them explore and navigate those thought processes. 

"It can be draining but it is a huge privilege, it is so rewarding, and it is a huge part of the work we do because if you can reduce some of those concerns for families in the pre-death experience, then life in the aftermath is easier to manage." 

She added: "You can't put words to it really. For me my overriding thing working with anyone is to empower them to get a little bit of control back over their lives when that control has been scrambled.

"Saying 'these are the resources you need' so they know what to do and they say 'yes, I can do this' when the whole world has dealt them this huge blow, throwing their lives upside down.

"What we try and do is help families create a new kind of normal."

To learn more about how you can support Severn Hospice's work, visit severnhospice.org.uk/support-us or call 01743 236565.