'It fills my heart' - Shrewsbury mum who lost two sons gets fresh support for bereavement group, and appeals to people who've lost loved ones to get in touch for support
A mum who has lost two sons and set up a bereavement group to support other families has said fresh support she has received has “filled her heart”.
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Shrewsbury Bereavement Group was set up two years ago by Shane Game.
Her son Toby Jones, aged 31, died in April 2022 after falling into the River Severn in Shrewsbury while on a night out.
Toby’s tragic death came ten years after that of his brother Ben Hughes, a talented writer who documented his health struggles with a blog in the Shropshire Star to raise awareness for organ donation.
Shane said she struggled to find support through the authorities, so set up the group.
“Sadly, I didn’t get any counselling for Ben because I got lost in the system,” she said. “So I was basically left to get on with life.
“When I lost Toby 10 years later, I got the counselling, but it took months for me to get the appointment.
“When you’re in that dark hole, you want something now, not 12 months down the line.
“I decided I wanted to help other people, and it helps me.
“So I started up the group. It’s free. Two hours, once a month. All the dates are on the web page.
“I’ve had approximately 95 to 100 people in the last 12 months, so there’s obviously a need for it.
“We just share our experiences and talk. We can be honest with each other in the group and friendships are made.”
Shane hopes the group can be her “legacy to the boys”, despite the enduring pain of losing them.
“It never leaves you,” she said. “You learn to live your day in a different way. It does change you as a person.
“When people say things like’ haven’t you got over it yet?’, it makes me so angry. It’s so unsympathetic. You’re never going to get over things.
“When people say ‘does it get any easier’, no, it doesn’t.
“I feel cheated. I’m not going to see Toby get married or have kids. Ben didn’t have any children. I feel angry in a way. Half of my heart has died.”
Despite her own grief, Shane has been working hard to help others, and has secured a new home for the group at Castlefields Community Hub and funding for the monthly meetings.
“Homesplus have helped me secure some funding and allowed me to use the hub because it’s for the community.
“They’ve been amazing, because I was doing it from home before.
“I’ve had lots of enquiries referring people to the group like doctors and hospitals.
“Likewise, if I feel I need extra help, there are numbers on the web page and I can refer people too (to doctors/hospitals/mental health professionals).
“This was just a little idea because I don’t want people to feel how I feel.
“It fills my heart, to know that it’s being recognised.”
The next meeting in Castlefields is on May 7, 1pm to 3pm.
There will also be meetings at Ditherington Community Centre once a month. The next one in Ditherington is on May 9 from 11.30am to 1.30pm.
For more information about the group and future dates, visit shrewsburybereavementgroup.co.uk/
