'My rape horror as a 13-year-old': Victim speaks out over her ordeal at hands of Oswestry truck driver

Human rights lawyer Kim Fawcett has waived her right to anonymity to speak of the profound impact the attacks had on her.

Kim Fawcett, 29, was groomed and raped in Oswestry as a child by truck driver Robert Stuart McClelland.

McClelland, 57, met Ms Fawcett’s mother on an internet dating website, and acted as a father figure to her before attacking her on numerous occasions.

Ms Fawcett became pregnant and contracted a sexually transmitted disease before she informed authorities of what she had been through.

McClelland was jailed for six years in 2004 for the attacks at his home in the town, but only served two years of his sentence.

Now Ms Fawcett has set up a support group for other sufferers. She says she hopes by speaking out she will help others to report abuse they may be suffering.

She said: ‘Since the abuse, I’ve had very low self-esteem and have struggled with (thoughts of) suicide and depression.

“I often feel worthless and disgusting and like I was to blame. I assume people are always thinking ‘Why is she here? She is so awful’.

“I don’t have a relationship with my parents and I struggle to let people in or understand why they would even want to be in the same room as me. The abuse has also affected my relationships.

“I wanted the group to be a space where women did not have to worry about putting on a brave face or hiding a secret; where people could come and be exhausted or angry or ashamed, and not have to hide it, but to feel understood and supported.

“I want to break down the shame that victims feel after being affected by the trauma and help them realise it’s not their fault and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Ms Fawcett revealed she was raped again at 16 while in Crete, and has twice attempted to take her own life.

However after moving from her home near the Shropshire border to start a new life in Bristol, she has set up a support group and has started to come to terms with her own situation after being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder.

She said: “Life to me, was no longer worth living – I did not believe I could get over the waves of despair and blackness I so often felt. The waiting list for help on the NHS indicated to me that there must be other people in my position, so I decided to set up a peer support group.”

Kim wants to help others to cope

People think that when a paedophile is jailed the victim gains some kind of closure from the conviction and that they can get their life back on track.

However that isn’t the case for Kim Fawcett.

She has battled with the physical and mental scars left by her attacker Robert Stuart McClelland.

After years of torment and two suicide attempts, Ms Fawcett has bravely waived her right to anonymity and chosen to speak out in a bid to help others get over the trauma of being raped and sexually abused.

Her harrowing story began when her mother met McClelland online. Her relationship with her father had broken down and the paedophile told her he was a real father figure to her. He showered her with gifts and began to groom her.

It was one day when she was 13 that her ordeal began.

Her mother sent her off to stay with McClelland at his home in Oswestry, where he plied her with alcohol and raped her for the first time.

She said: “After going out driving together, we went back to his house and he bought me a big bottle of Smirnoff Ice. I started feeling excited and giddy but then really confused and dizzy after drinking it. I realise now I was drunk."

He grabbed her by the wrists, dragged her into a room and attacked her. He even scratched the date into a bottle as a memento.

Ms Fawcett described how he bragged to other truckers at his workplace about what he had done, and continued to sexually attack her.

She believed he was in love with her. She said: “He would pick me up from school, wearing a muscle vest, to rape me and no one would mind. He would often rape me in the quarry, or his van, at my mother’s house and at his.

“He was my first kiss, my first everything. I believed he was completely in love with me and I was completely dependent on him.”

At 14 Ms Fawcett started getting stomach pains and discovered she was three months pregnant.

McClelland told her to have an abortion, and when she did she was told she had a sexually transmitted disease.

Following this she told a family friend about what she had been through, and this was her escape route.

She said: “The reason I decided to tell someone was because when I got pregnant, his attitude towards me completely changed. He told me I had to get rid of the baby, and told me he didn’t love me. I became afraid that he was going to kill me. The look in his eyes – I finally realised who he really was.”

Kim informed the police because she didn’t want it happening to other girls.

When police searched McClelland's property, the bottle was found that had a date scratched into it. Also text messages sent to Kim were found.

McClelland was charged by police in 2003 and convicted at Chester Crown Court.

He was released after serving just two years of his sentence, which had a lasting effect on Ms Fawcett.

She said: “For him to then be released just two years into his sentence shows to me a complete lack of understanding as to the horror of childhood trauma and how we view child abuse as a society.”

And her ordeal was not over. She was raped again by a bartender in Crete when she was 16. After that attack she went into foster care where she attempted to take her own life. She made another attempt on her life when she was travelling in Australia.

Later she moved to Bristol to be with her friends.

After recently being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder she learned she would have to wait eight months for counselling. Unwilling to wait for help, Kim created her own support group, the Survivors of Abuse and Sexual Violence Bristol Group. Waiving her anonymity meant the support group has doubled in size.

She wants to support other victims like herself and is determined to change people’s attitudes towards sexual offence victims.

Ms Fawcett said she has also been asked to work with NSPCC in its Christmas campaign.

She added: "I want to break down the shame that victims feel after being affected by the trauma and help them realise it’s not their fault and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

“It is so poorly understood. We have to change that.”