Political column - June 29

In the context highlights has to be a very broad term, also encompassing lowlights, as it has been one of the dullest general election campaigns in modern history, with the two main parties so closely aligned that the choice has been illusory and their arguments and counter arguments have sounded artificial.

Nor has there been any electoral jeopardy to spice things up as the Tories have been so far behind in the polls that the result is a foregone conclusion, with the only question being how big the Labour majority will be.

Maybe something interesting will happen in the last few days, but on current form it is does not look that way.

Anyway, here we go.

RISHI THE RAIN MAN: When Rishi Sunak stood in the pouring rain outside Downing Street to announce the election, it was obvious that it would be seen as emblematic of the whole Conservative campaign. Choosing to go so early when he could have had several more months of government took many by surprise, not least some Tory MPs who had not yet placed their bets on the election date. As he made the announcement, the Prime Minister looked bedraggled and sounded uninspirational.

MISSING FROM PARADE: The Prime Minister attended the morning D-Day events, then left for something he felt was more important. So when the pictures of world leaders were taken in the afternoon, he was absent. Believe it or not there were Second World War veterans who were not big on parades, regarding them as bullshine, but today there are just a handful of veterans left and the 80th anniversary event was a big thing for both them and us. Something to stick around for.

ANGELA "RAYGUN" RAYNER: I'm just a gobby northern lass, me. She is also the deputy leader of the Labour party – a different vision ideologically to the safety first Labour party headed by Sir Keir Starmer. But she is gamely going along with the gig for the moment, saying she supports the nuclear deterrent and that sort of thing. It has a sort of grim entertainment value.

PRESENT BUT NOT INVOLVED: "Change" is the Labour slogan, and Sir Keir Starmer is indeed a changed man. We have learned that Sir Keir went into the last general election supporting policies he did not believe in, backing a leader he did not believe in, and not believing his party would win. In that election Sir Keir’s key policy contribution to Labour’s campaign went like this: If Labour won (which he did not believe), he and Emily Thornberry would go to Brussels on behalf of HM Government and the British people in a cause they did not believe in, to reach a renegotiated Brexit deal they did not believe in – and would in no circumstances support or recommend. In 2024 his pitch to voters is: "Believe in me."

BBC VERIFY: If you can't make up your mind about political claims and counter claims, don't worry, the BBC is at hand to give you its truth. Sinister, I call it.

NIGEL FARAGE: The admirer of the political skills of Vladimir Putin – I wonder what Kim Jong Un is doing wrong in Nigel's eyes – dealt a hammer blow to Tory hopes when he announced that he was throwing his hat in the ring. He was milkshaked, he was pelted, he said things that caused controversy. He was in danger of stirring things up and did, but only to a limited extent. Because, let's face it, we're used to it now.

ELECTION NIGHT: This has got to be a highlight, hasn't it – something to look forward to. The polls promise us lots of Portillo moments. One poll even suggested that the Prime Minister might lose his seat. We have been led to expect shock results, so they will not be surprises when they come, which is something of a paradox. One week from now Starmer will be Prime Minister and we will have said so long to Sunak.

You can bet on it – and if you are a top Tory may already have done so.