'Trump cannot lose as he is chosen by God' – Toby Neal

If Donald Trump didn't believe it before, after the miracle of Butler Farm he will surely believe now that he has been specially chosen by God.

There are plenty of precedents for those who made their mark in history believing it was their destiny, or that they had been afforded special protection, or both.

When Churchill became Prime Minister in Britain's darkest hour in 1940 he believed that his whole life before had been a preparation for that moment. As a young man he had had several close shaves with death.

Charles de Gaulle survived around 30 attempts on his life. His narrowest escape came when assassins ambushed his car in 1962 and hit it 14 times amid a fusillade of automatic weapons fire. De Gaulle and his wife were unscathed, as was his entire entourage despite nearly 200 bullets being fired.

During the Great War, soldiers serving under the future Field Marshal Alexander – he became Montgomery's boss – are said to have literally followed in the footsteps of the young officer who seemed to lead a charmed life, in the hope that they would be similarly protected from shot and shell.

Had the gunman's bullet struck its mark at Butler Farm the effect on America would have been incalculable. Some have gone so far as to say that civil war was avoided by a hair's breadth.

Biden is a worry now, so what he might be like two or three years down the line is a compounded worry. We have to hope the nuclear button is never placed near the button he uses to order his bedtime cocoa.

As for Trump, he is a woman-hating neo-Nazi sympathising sociopath and a tyrant in a toupet, and that's according to Britain's top diplomat, David Lammy. So if – when – Trump becomes president, the dynamics of the "special relationship" are going to be interesting, especially when his running mate thinks that the UK is the first Islamic country to have nuclear weapons.

Back on the home front, the NHS is in crisis, prisons are in crisis, then there's the small boats crisis... Is it too soon to be speaking of "14 days of Labour chaos"?

Labour's plans were outlined at the State Opening of Parliament, which will henceforth be known as the Great British State Opening of Parliament as part of the masterplan to make things sound better by placing the words "Great British" in front of them. Like Bakeoff.

There's been no mention however of the Great British Countryside because after Labour's finished with it there won't be any left. I do have a suggestion to help solve the housing crisis, and that involves converting the huge amount of empty buildings into houses or flats, which would bring valuable properties back to life while providing people homes, and without the need to bury green fields under bricks.

Sir Keir has hosted a backslapping big gathering of European leaders which will bring back fond memories and raise hopes. If they treat the Prime Minister with contemptuous disrespect and offer him a cake without cherries it will be just like the good old days when Britain was in the EU.

We've also had this week an initial rollout from the Covid inquiry which people hope will highlight lessons to be learned.

One lesson drawn might be that we need warehouses full of personal protective equipment so that we are prepared for the next pandemic.

Then the next pandemic will come along and will be in a totally different form to Covid and the PPE will not be needed and a scandal will erupt about huge amounts of public money being spent on useless equipment that has ended up in landfill.

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Good luck to whoever is chosen to succeed Gareth Southgate as England manager.

For the abuse you get, the job's not worth the money. I'm going to nominate Alan Shearer for the role, because I've watched him and can tell he's an expert.

It will mean a vacancy for a football pundit, and I'm inclined to apply as I have pinpointed the reasons for England's defeat against Spain.

They needed to be more patient, and to have played with more urgency.