'Gone has gone the sunlit uplands tone optimist Boris Johnson' – Toby Neal on doom-monger Keir Starmer

It's Sir Keir Starmer's take on that famous Saint Francis of Assisi quote.

Refreshing candour, is how his enforcer Pat McFadden describes it. Oh yes, you can see how people have been refreshed by it. There's a real spring in the step.

Gone has gone the sunlit uplands tone of imperishable optimist Boris Johnson, who rejected the downbeat creed of the "gloomsters and doomsters."

Gloomsterism and doomsterism is now de rigueur, and Sir Keir Starmer is the man for the job, while his sidekick Rachel Reeves is about to become the most unpopular Chancellor of modern times. Perhaps even more reviled than George Osborne.

Of course, it has all come as a terrible shock to Keir and Rachel. They've told us repeatedly over the last few months that the Tories crashed the economy and public finances were in a terrible state but, oh my, things are even worse than they ever imagined.

The Labour manifesto referred to Conservative "chaos" 30 or so times. But this!

Hats off to Sir Keir for being straight with the nation – and for having the ability to keep a straight face. This is a politician you can trust. He's told us that himself. I'm a pretty straight kinda guy, he has assured us. Rings a bell somehow.

As for what was (and was not) in the Labour manifesto, well, I did warn at the time that only those still in nappies believe what's in manifestos.

The general election was only last month, but you can understand why the spirit of refreshing candour did not extend to adopting the candid slogan "Things Will Be Worse Under Labour" as Sir Keir went to the polls. It might not have proven a vote-winner.

Similarly pensioners might not have fully understood the benefits of Labour taking away help with their winter heating bills to pay for better foreign holidays for union members.

One of those not entirely surprised by the turn of events will be Stephen Flynn, the SNP leader at Westminster, who told viewers in those televised leaders' debates during the general election campaign that a new Labour government had £18 billion of public sector spending cuts “baked in.”

A couple of snippets from the Downing Street rose garden speech that don't appear to have caused a stir. One was the boast by Sir Keir Starmer that he was involved in micro-managing prison places to bang up rioters.

The other was his claim: "We’ve done more in seven weeks than the last government did in seven years."

That's odd – Parliament hasn't even been sitting.

It's the sort of claim that BBC Verify would have got its teeth into if Boris Johnson had said it. Has it gone on holiday?

*************************

I haven’t got anything specifically against Oasis or their music, but my interest in their lucrative reunion is equal to my interest in the latest overnight artwork in London from "Banksy." It’s said that nobody knows who Banksy is, but somebody must know, even if it's only his mother.

Whoever is handling the publicity for Oasis and Banksy deserves a pay rise. Maybe they should get as much as the publicity agent for Taylor Swift.

I wish Oasis well and that their comeback is as successful as that of Take That, and that they don't end up on the nostalgia circuit and performing on cruise ships to people like me.

**************************

I’ve read that there is a new television show which features totally naked people choosing dates based presumably on the angle of dangle of all their visible bits. I haven’t watched it myself. I’m not sure I’ve even got that channel.

Thank heavens that no sexist dinosaurs of the 1970s generation have been involved in the production of what sounds like fun-filled entertainment for our enlightened modern audiences. If they had got their claws into it they would have made it a tawdry cattle market featuring evening dresses and swimsuits and asking contestants for their views on world peace.

We have come a long way since those shameful exploitative times.