A banger race but a Grand Tour

The Swiss Alps are among the most beautiful mountains in the world.

And on a crisp sunny September day, myself and three friends are enjoying the magnificent scenery as we traverse the winding passes linking Switzerland with Italy.

Or at least we would be, were we not trailing a battered old Sherpa van belching a constant plume of thick black smoke which obscures our view as it struggles to get above 20mph.

But we don't mind. We laugh and pull over with the dying van to offer help as the driver gives it some time to cool off.

We are driving a not quite so battered Citro'n ZX, which is 14 years old and not the most reliable vehicle with which to negotiate some of the trickiest, highest roads in Europe.

But it's all part of the fun.

This is a banger rally. We have acquired our car for free - the most any team is allowed to spend is £100 - and we are about halfway through our 1,500-mile journey from Shropshire to Rome.

The rally is called Staples to Naples ('Staples' being Staples Corner at the bottom of the M1) but this year it joined up with another called Home to Rome (the names obviously have to rhyme for some reason) and we are all finishing in Rome.

Well, those that make it that far anyway.

We started on a Thursday, leaving Shifnal to drive to Dover and hop over on the ferry to Calais.

After a few quiet (ahem) beers that evening we set off bright and early on Friday morning along with 200 other bangers - many decked out in weird and wonderful costumes including a Nova which looked like a tractor and a hearse complete with pretend coffin and Addams Family decorations - on the 450-mile stretch to

Sarnen in Switzerland.

Much of the first day (the drive to Calais didn't technically count as part of the rally) was spent on fairly dull French motorways getting charged plenty of euros for the privilege.

We made it through border control with no more than a very stern look from a Swiss official who didn't appear to have much of a sense of humour, and had set up camp by about 7pm.

Each evening was spent regaling our fellow drivers with the day's events and discussing how everyone had got on with the challenges.

Ah yes, the challenges...

Every day brought a different conundrum to keep our spirits up and while away the hours spent behind the wheel.

Days one and two were fairly straightforward photo-matching challenges and car number-plate scrabble, which did nothing to prepare us for day three's humiliation.

By then we had made it over the Alps and were on the home stretch through Italy, which took us past Venice.

The organisers, being the kind sports they were, obviously thought we should be able to take in the sights of one of the world's most beautiful and romantic cities on our way.

So they gave us a challenge. To take our spare wheels on the train into the centre of Venice, carry it through the busy streets thronged with tourists, and have our picture taken with the wheel in St Mark's Square.

Oh yes, and we had to do it all dressed as St Trinian's schoolgirls.

So it came to pass that a Shropshire accountant, a university lecturer, a self-employed businessman and a council worker provided the Venetian tourists with one of the more bizarre sights they may have seen during their trip.

In fairness it was good fun and everyone took it in the right spirit.

From Venice it was a fairly short hop to the Italian resort of Sottomarina and the team finished the day with a dip in the sea which was enough to finally wash away the embarrassment of the schoolgirl spare-wheel experience.

Our team was called Team Slot and was made up of Owain Wyn-Jones, Jon Higson, Tim Jenkins, and me.

The name came from a trip to Barcelona for Tim's stag do when he spied a shop called Team Slot, which sold toy trains. He repeated this enough times for it to become a standing joke, and thus the team name.

We entered the rally as a bit of fun and decided to try to raise some money for charity, taking Cancer Research as our good cause.

Thanks to the generosity of family, friends and colleagues we have so far managed to raise more than £2,500, which is fantastic.

There is still time to pledge more cash - and frankly I think we deserve it considering the shortness of my skirt in some of the photos - on our website.

As for our trusty stead, the good old Citro'n ZX affectionately known as Warren (no one was quite sure why), well, it's a rather sad end.

We left him with a friendly Italian scrap dealer who kindly promised to find him a good home.

Whether he will be picked up by some enterprising driver who recognises he still has a good few thousand miles left in him, or whether he will become a very tightly packed tiny metal box, only time will tell.

But he certainly did his bit by taking us more than 1,500 miles in four days across three countries, and helping us raise a lot of money for a very good cause to boot.

For more details visit www.staples2naples.co.uk

on a crisp sunny September day, myself and three friends are enjoying the magnificent scenery as we traverse the winding passes linking Switzerland with Italy.