Lady luck fails to shine on our Audi SQ5

I’ve spent a lot of time behind the wheel of our Audi SQ5 lately and while single-handedly attempting to make a dent in the world’s stock of super unleaded I’ve also had a lot of time to think about things.

At the foremost of my mind, a pressing quandary: They say bad luck comes in threes – but when do you know what actually constitutes bad luck? My point being, at what level does a mild annoyance become a full-blown recordable bad luck event?

I ask because my little green SUV seems to have suffered a spate of problems recently and I’m trying to work out whether I’ve hit the triple.

Let me explain. First up was a car park prang that left me nothing short of fuming. Parked up in one of those multistorey concrete monstrosities in a space that was barely big enough for a Smart car, let alone an SUV, I politely and delicately squeezed myself out of the Audi, careful not to touch the BMW parked poorly next to me.

When I returned an hour later, my fellow German car driver had not been so cautious. As they’d exited the space, I can only assume in the manner they entered it (with their eyes closed) they scraped the SQ5 behind the front left wheel. Most of the damage has polished out, but there’s still a noticeable fold in the paintwork.

Naturally they hadn’t left a note, so I’m going to have to investigate some repair work. Bad luck, strike one.

A few weeks later a strange fault developed. When I started the Audi, the tyre pressure warning system shouted at me loudly. It said the right rear rubber had lost pressure and to reset the car’s sensors. I’ve investigated, pumped the tyre up but it still seems to be playing up. I think it’ll need a trip to a dealer.

Strike three is the questionable one. It could be the fact the keyless entry has an intermittent glitch. Every now and then, normally when I need it most as I’ve got my hands full of shopping, it refuses to open at the pull of the handle just as it should when it senses the key is close. It’s annoyingly infrequent and hard to pin-point why it does it.

I’m unsure if that counts as a strike, or the next one. During the recent hot spell, I’ve been leaving the sunroof open to ease the inferno heat levels that ensue after a day parked in the sunshine. Cleverly, the Audi lets you open the sunroof but keep the mesh blind in place, so the heat escapes, but things don’t fall in.

Unfortunately, it’s not an infallible system. After parking under a tree, I discovered that while the mesh blind might stop things falling in, it also acts as a perfect sieve, helping to beautifully and liberally distribute a huge bird lime strike across the leather seats. It wasn’t particularly the easiest, or most pleasant thing to clean up either.

Whether the key problems or bird strike can be classed as bad luck strike three is up for discussion, but I’m certainly hoping they can be and I can get back to enjoying the fabulous off-roader.

I still love driving the Audi, enjoying the popping exhaust note and its rapid turn of speed every journey. Yes, it might have a horrible drinking habit (currently 25.9mpg), but it’s wonderfully comfortable and the multimedia system a joy to use. It almost makes the money spent on fuel bearable. I’ve even treated her to a detail from our resident car cleaning expert as she’s come up beautifully.

I’m still unsure quite who the target buyer is for this high-performance, petrol powered SUV, but I for one am certainly enjoying running the Audi, despite the latest poor run of form.

Next up on the to do list is getting some quotes for that car door repair and remembering to shut the sunroof when I park under a tree. I think I might put a post it note on the dash to remind me of the latter as I don’t fancy another rubber gloves and scrubbing session thanks to Sally the seagull’s perfect shot.