Political column – March 28

From tomorrow, this can be updated, to: "On March 29, 2019, at this place, nothing much happened."

Dates on which nothing much happened can also be historic, and change the course of history.

In politics, for example, there was that date soon after Gordon Brown became Prime Minister, in which things seemed to be going his way and there was speculation that he would call a snap general election and have a good chance of winning it.

He didn't call a general election. Then came the financial crash. The moment had passed, political history took another course, Gordon Brown went from being a Prime Minister seemingly in control of events to one in which events controlled him and destroyed his ambitions.

And all because of that date on which something might have happened, but didn't.

In war too, there was that day in September 1940 when Hitler didn't invade.

What would have been the consequences had he attempted to cross the Channel is one of the great what-ifs of history.

The invaders would have been opposed by a British army enfeebled by massive losses of equipment and supported by a Home Guard in which the lucky ones with rifles only had a few bullets each.

Friday, March 29, 2019, is, or at least was going to be, Brexit Day. Our MPs voted for it, but hidden terms and conditions applied, just as they did in the 2016 referendum.

The fact that it will be one of those days when nothing happened has immense significance because it is the only firm date the British people have ever been given that it was going to happen.

Now there is no concrete date for Brexit and if it has not happened when it was supposed to happen, the possibility increases that it will not happen at all, which a lot of people and most MPs would like, which further increases that possibility.

For Theresa May, March 29 is writ large on her CV. "We will be leaving the EU on March 29," she repeatedly told the Commons, putting the emphasis on the word "will."

Each and every day after tomorrow will be a post-promise (or threat, depending on whether you're a Leaver or Remainer) day for Mrs May, a continuing chronological indicator that her word counts for nothing much.

Politically, her reason-to-be will have ended, and her function will be to hold the poisoned chalice so nobody else has to.

The final humiliation has come with being captain of the ship and having the crew push her aside and take over, as has happened with MPs seizing the helm with their series of indicative votes.

While she reflected the views of many ordinary people when she took a swipe at MPs, it was a mistake, because Mrs May is not one of Us, she is one of Them, and it torpedoed her chances of gaining MPs' support for her deal.

Yet a system of government in which MPs collectively seek to order the government to take particular negotiating positions, even if those positions are against government (or, indeed, EU) policy, is plainly bonkers. I say plainly, but either MPs haven't noticed or they don't care.

One thing we have learned through recent events is that manifestos going into general elections are not worth the paper they are written on.

Ken Clarke effectively said as much in the Commons. The Tory manifesto didn't come out until candidates were half way through the campaign, he said, and he implied that nobody took much notice of the commitments in them anyway.

Oh, if only MPs could turn back the clock, they could have avoided this mess which they caused for themselves by recklessly outsourcing a decision to the voters.

As it happens, the time lords of the EU want to change time itself.

The European parliament has voted to scrap the twice-a-year custom of changing the clocks by an hour in spring and autumn. The idea is to harmonise daylight saving time across the EU.

If ratified by MPs, the directive will apply to the UK if the nation goes into an extended transition period.

You can probably count on it then.

"The Brexit Means Brexit" panto ends its run tomorrow, March 29, 2019.

It will be followed by a new panto, called "Neverland."