Political column – August 24

Climate change emergency? What climate change emergency?

Looking about, it was obvious that other motorists were not paying proper attention to the environmental disaster which, if the experts are right, is unfolding before our eyes, and under our noses.

And if we are to be serious about there being a climate change emergency, which trips so easily off the tongue, we have to look at ways of changing their behaviour.

As so often, the way to the future is written in the past. Because we have been here before. Well, not exactly here, precisely. But here-ish, during the early 1970s, when the miners' strike and the fuel crisis forced Britain to adopt measures which could come in useful if they were repeated now.

For the benefit of younger readers, miners were traditional workers sent underground in dirty and dangerous conditions. They were led by demagogues like Arthur Scargill and Mick McGahey before the saintly Margaret Thatcher set them free by closing all the pits and giving them new career opportunities in agrarian roles or, failing that, the liberation of increased leisure time.

So let's start the checklist of measures which could be revisited to save the planet today.

NO DRIVE DAYS: I've got a vague feeling that during the early 1970s there were Sundays on which people were encouraged not to drive, but admittedly may be wrong about that. Back then hardly any shops were open on Sundays, because it was against the law for them to do so. It meant there was no reason to get in the car and make a polluting and unnecessary journey to the local retail park. A designated no-drive Sunday every month would also boost family life, as you could have Sunday dinner together and have interesting discussions about current affairs over the dinner table. In fact, if traffic was banned from motorways for one Sunday every month, they could be used instead by cyclists, boosting the health of the nation and providing long-term benefits in reduced costs for the NHS.

NATIONWIDE SPEED LIMIT OF 50MPH: This would bring the speed limit down to something like the optimum speed for fuel efficiency on most cars. There was such a nationwide speed limit on "normal" roads introduced in 1974.

GREEN POLICE PATROLS: Driving electric cars, painted green, these police patrols would be tasked specifically with environmental enforcement matters, whether it be pulling over motorists breaking this new national speed limit, or coming down on householders failing to recycle empty pet food cans. The Green Police would be empowered to impose on-the-spot fines.

FLIGHT RATIONING: This is an idea straight from Caroline The Sexist. Caroline wants families, (or was it individuals?), rationed to one flight every five years. This measure would bring economic benefits to Britain's seaside towns, which would be boosted by a new influx of summer visitors no longer able to go abroad. There are some people for whom flights would be essential, so they would have special dispensation to have extra flights if they could prove it.

BAN ALL RANGE ROVERS: Not just Range Rovers, but big off-roaders and SUVs. Not that I'm jealous or anything. Farmers exempt.

MANDATORY USE OF PUBLIC TRANSPORT: Every time you would get on a bus or a train, your ticket would be scanned, and it would be scanned again to record your departure. Members of the public would be required to make a certain number of journeys on public transport each month, unless they had exemptions. The Green Police would enforce.

TAX ON PAVED DRIVEWAYS: A lot of people, I have noticed, are ripping up their grassed front lawns and instead having one of those paving companies come along to lay paving to provide more parking space for cars. Getting rid of the grass by definition removes green space, and also increases the flood risk as the sponge effect of grass and earth is lost. And we all know that the climate change scientists are warning of warmer, wetter, summers. You only have to watch the news to see that there seem to be an increasing number of summer floods.

If you think none of my proposals above is meant seriously, you may be right, but you may be wrong. Because that's the whole point, isn't it? If we are not prepared to take measures that hurt, like these, how serious are we about tackling climate change anyway?