Politics’ worst week

On the face of it, it has not been a great week for Boris Johnson – his first in Parliament as PM and a big chance to show the country exactly what he is made of.

He lost his first three votes (as well as more than 20 MPs), delivered a series of stunted and largely inconsequential interventions from the dispatch box, and caused great offence to the virtue signalling Twitterati by calling Jeremy Corbyn a “great big girl’s blouse”.

For those who haven’t been paying attention (and really, who could blame you?), here’s a quick recap:

• Parliament voted down Brexit for the 246th time, as some MPs who say they really, really, really want a deal with the EU conspired to ensure it will be pretty impossible for us to get one.

• Mr Johnson said he DOES NOT want a general election, then promptly called one.

• Mr Corbyn, who is adamant that he DOES want a general election, voted against having one.

It was also a week where we saw the Leader of the House, Jacob Rees Mogg – a man who considers himself to be a true English gent – sprawled across the Commons upholstery.

He also managed to get himself involved in a most unpleasant row with a doctor.

A television programme aired called Are Our Politicians Fit For Purpose? The answer was ‘no’.

And remember Theresa May’s Brexit bill? The one nobody really liked?

Well it’s back, having slipped through the net by accident after being proposed by a group of Labour MPs who have repeatedly voted against it.

All the while the hardcore attention-seekers on both sides of the Brexit argument – who collectively represent about one per cent of the population – continued to scream and shout their heads off outside Parliament.

The nadir for Mr Johnson came with his speech at a police training college, for which he turned up an hour late, then, in front of a bank of police officers standing to attention, gave one of the most rambling and shambolic addresses from any politician in recent memory.

It was real head-in-the-hands stuff, a piece of Trumpian pantomime which left the impression that it was all getting a little bit much for our PM.

The upshot is that Remainers everywhere have rejoiced in the belief that no-deal is now no-go.

They think the PM they despise so much is careering towards the exit door, his plans in tatters thanks to the efforts of a House of Commons that is very much on their side.

Bunting

But it may be a little premature for them to start pinning up the EU bunting.

Mr Johnson is sticking resolutely to the October 31 Brexit deadline, which is, after all, the default departure date by law.

Anyone who believes he will trot off to the EU begging for yet another extension is living in fantasy land, as the PM is likely to treat last week’s depressingly predictable vote to delay Brexit with the contempt that it deserves.

(Incidentally, for ‘delay’ read ‘stop’, because at this stage it is foolish to believe that our Parliament is ever going to sanction any sort of Brexit deal).

Even in his darkest hour, Mr Johnson can always rely on the most reliable asset in his box of tricks: Mr Corbyn’s Labour Party.

However Mr Corbyn tries to ice it, refusing an election he claims he is desperate for confirms the widely held view that he is a spineless, duplicitous leader. He comes across as a man who is dodging public scrutiny, the very accusation he continually levels at the PM.

The opposition to a poll of many Labour backbenchers in Leave areas is understandable.

Why would they want to be suddenly plunged into an election campaign just as their leadership’s plan to stop Brexit at all costs finally starts to emerge from years of confusion and mixed messages?

Labour’s handling of the Brexit issue has been excruciating to watch.

The clueless Emily Thornberry probably put it best on Question Time, explaining how in government she would go to Brussels to agree a Brexit deal... before returning to the UK Parliament to vote against it.

“Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds?” the Shadow Foreign Secretary was asked.

She clearly didn’t – and that really is the point.

Ms Thornberry, along with Jo Swinson, Chuka Umunna, Anna Soubry and the droves of other Brexit-bashing politicians, will never quite ‘get it’.

They are blinded by BBC-sponsored no-deal scare stories and the droning chants of the crackpots parading around College Green.

Mr Johnson may be flapping, but he clearly understands the urgent necessity to deliver Brexit.

That is why in his eyes, purging the party of Remainer MPs may not be a bad thing heading into a general election.

His big challenge now is getting Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party onside – something that can only be achieved if he goes all out for a no-deal Brexit.

At the end of a very long week, the only thing that Remainers have achieved is to drastically increase the likelihood of the very thing they are so desperate to prevent.