Political column – March 21

In this upside down world of ours, the current older generation is the least suited in history to self-isolate, while the younger generation is the most suited in history to self-isolation as, enslaved and imprisoned by their technological devices, it's what they do anyway.

Older folk are healthier, fitter, and more active than ever and yet they are the ones being asked to stay at home.

The initial comment above was something somebody approaching 80 said to me earlier this week, although he did also understand the rationale for the stay-at-home advice. He had added: "If you go out and mix with too many people you could catch the virus, so you have got to be careful, I suppose."

Boris Johnson is being compared to a war leader and whatever you think of him politically he has shown a command of the English language which we associate with great war leaders.

And it hasn't even begun yet. Today, March 21, is a significant date, as it was the date in 1918 that the German Army launched its great spring offensive which fell upon British lines like a tidal wave.

Fast forward 102 years and Boris Johnson and the nation are similarly facing an oncoming tsunami of death and misery.

In 1918 the tide was eventually turned and Britain was able to declare a victory. Boris Johnson is a war leader who will not be able to declare a victory. His effectiveness will be judged by the scale of our defeat. Will we have 250,000 deaths, or a "mere" 20,000 deaths?

As fit older folk kick their heels in their homes they will need something to occupy them. So I have a few suggestions.

They have remarkable stories to tell, all of them. Coronavirus or not, there will come a time when clogs will be popped, so now is a good time to leave something for the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

Memories of war, rationing, outside loos, houses without mains electricity, sometimes without mains water. They just won't believe any of it.

It's time to write your autobiography for the family. Think about it. They don't know you. Yes, yes, they know what you're like now, all old and wrinkled – but have no idea about your earlier life.

An autobiography doesn't have to be a book. It can just be a few scribbled sheets.

Incidentally, with the 75th anniversary of VE Day coming up, we at the Star are planning to mark it with readers' memories of the VE Day celebrations, so if you were around then, why not send them to me (toby.neal@shropshirestar.co.uk). And if you were able to email a picture of yourself from around that time, that would be dandy. You don't have the technical know-how? Learn a new skill.

Then there are all the photos you've got. Sort them out and, most importantly, write who is who. Because when you have gone, nobody will know if that woman holding a baby in the background was an aunt holding you as a child, or some random neighbour who had popped round.

If you do nothing they will be nameless faces. If your descendants haven't a clue who is on an old picture, there is little reason to keep it. Those who you knew and loved will be thrown in the bin.

Following my suggestions, you are going to be busy, but if you finish writing your autobiography and sorting out and captioning all your photos, you will be looking for something else to occupy your time.

Here I have two further time-occupying suggestions. The first is to teach your cat to sit. And the first stage in teaching your cat to sit is to catch your cat.

Teaching your cat to sit will take the entire four months or so of self-isolation. There are going to be some practical problems. After the first couple of days of trying, your cat may disappear for a while.

If after a while you think the whole thing has been a total waste of time, comfort yourselves in the knowledge that you had the time to waste and have built a new and different relationship with your cat. Unless it's left home permanently.

Now for something more straightforward. On the assumption that many older folk are 1960s popsters, this task is to transcribe the lyrics of all Rolling Stones songs between 1968 and 1972, without cheating by looking them up on the internet.

When complete, ring up your peers to compare notes.

Keep busy. Keep safe.