Political column – May 15

About half way in, I turned to my wife and said: "I know that there are only two of them, but I'm still confused."

That's my problem with these whodunnits where they have to introduce lots of characters ("lots" in my case is defined as more than one) to give a big enough pool of potential culprits to keep you guessing until the big reveal at the end.

Keeping track of them is too much of an intellectual effort, so I generally forget about trying to follow the tortuous plot and just wait for the next explosion or shooting to liven things up.

So there's no point in asking me to explain the government's newly nuanced message, which is supported by reams and reams of explanations. Stay at Home, I got. Stay Alert could mean many things.

I think though that I can use my common sense.

In times like these it is always interesting to hear the intelligent and considered, but maverick, voices, which challenge the consensual wisdom, and I'm not talking about David Icke.

It was refreshing to hear Lord Sumption interviewed on the radio just to get a different perspective.

Basically this former Supreme Court Justice said we have all been put under house arrest without committing a crime, and fit under-65s are being made to sacrifice their liberties, lifestyles, and jobs for something that hardly affects them.

He said older people (like himself) should be left to decide for themselves what risks they are prepared to take, and by historical standards it's not even a particularly serious pandemic.

He pointed out that Sweden had not had a lockdown and its results were little different from Britain's.

This is the continuing mystery about coronavirus. Some countries which haven't bothered with social distancing and lockdowns have reported few cases. Nobody knows why some countries are being hit so hard, while others are hardly being hit at all.

It would be amazing, wouldn't it, if it eventually turned out that everything about this virus was more or less a question of luck.

Meanwhile, the theme song for the week has been There Are More Questions Than Answers by Johnny Nash. Strange how everybody starts grabbing hold of a particular phrase. Of bloomin' course there are more questions than answers, and always will be – unless you are God, and know everything.

Johnny's lyrics actually go: "There are more questions than answers, And the more I find out the less I know."

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The top end of our little street had a VE Day street party. (Social distancing was observed).

It was fascinating to hear from the neighbours.

There was one who had gone on a night out in the 1960s with Davy Jones of The Monkees, and whose Polish father had struck up a lifelong friendship which began during the war when in battle he came across another Pole who said to him: "Don't shoot! I'm Polish!"

Another had played keyboard for Kate Bush and Gloria Estefan, and narrowly missed out on playing for Michael Jackson.

Then there was the one who is cleaning windows on a skyscraper near to the Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth and whose grandfather walked all the way from Russian captivity in Siberia back to Romania.

Another with German and Irish heritage... The reggae fan... And so on and so on.

Having a boring background by comparison, I stayed quiet and simply enjoyed one of the neighbour's prized whiskies which he told me had a "smoky, peaty" flavour, although after the third glass I really wasn't able to tell.

............

My wife has just got a bunch of face masks from some lady locally who makes them.

They have got dog designs all over them, so we are probably not robbing the NHS of PPE.

I'm not that keen on the prospect of wearing a face mask, but if we must, we must, so mine are now on order. There's a choice of designs, and I have chosen VW camper vans.

I feel I'll look a bit silly in a face mask, so might as well look really silly.

Not that I have any particular affinity with VW camper vans. When I was a child we had something broadly similar, called a Bedford Dormobile, which had sliding doors. They seemed very exciting at that age.