Shirley Tart: Commons is not a place for slouches

In the middle of this ferocious, unseemly and often shameless fight, so-called serious politician Jacob Rees-Mogg was spotted slouched across the Front Bench looking for all the world like someone over the limit (well over) or whose legs were suddenly collapsible.

If you see Jacob, tell him the stunt was quite unacceptable.

Mind you, I could have understood Jacob Rees-Mogg when one opposition member accused him of not understanding ‘ordinary’ families and children.

Strange, that, when the MP has half a dozen little Rees-Moggs of his own at home!

As for the rest of this unbelievable Brexit pantomime, were it not so serious, it would, you’d suppose, be wonderfully funny.

But it’s really not. Far from it. Most of the principal players involved are exceptionally unfunny, are nowhere near as talented as they’d have us believe and are genuinely and thoroughly boring.

And comments from the Prime Minister along the lines of ‘You’re a chlorinated chicken’, ‘A big girl’s blouse’ and ‘Labour’s economic plans are s***’ were not clever, just crass.

And there, on behalf of millions, I suspect, I rest my case.

Although I must pay my own little tribute to Ken Clarke, an MP for 59 years, holder of many senior positions and an able Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Now he has discovered in the worst way the price he and colleagues are paying for daring to disagree with fellow politicians, with instant dismissal from the ranks.

I have a lovely picture of Ken and me (we are of an age) along with a local Young Conservative who had won a public speaking competition, when Mr Kenneth Clarke MP was presenting the award.

The ‘final’ was actually the semis, but before we had finished the West Midland speaking tour, a snap election had been called and it was all systems go for charismatic Ken and his colleagues. Happy – much happier – days!

Credit to June Turner who not only faced up to a man hiding inside a plastic sheet and demanding money, but when he got behind the counter of the shop she has run for 45 years, the 82-years-old newsagent grabbed his disguise, tripped him up and gave him what we shall henceforth call the June Turner treatment with her walking stick.

He ran off with just a small handful of cash from the till but nothing like he was hoping for as June saw him off the premises still wielding her trusty stick.

Of course she is a hero now to everyone who knows her – and the rest of us as it happens.

While perhaps they should do, no warnings are going to stop her from having a go when someone else invades her shop. Happily, she is safe and sound and as ever, will make her own decisions and stick to them. But June, be brave, be true but for goodness sake be careful!

TV presenter and millionaires Trinny Woodall has crossed the line for some by apparently giving out fashion tips and ideas including suggesting that shoppers might keep tags on clothes so they could be taken back to the shop for a refund... after they’ve been worn.

Not surprisingly, shop owners and others are not happy that Trinny appeared to be encouraging some clients to what amounts to dishonesty.

Or is that the least of our national challenges right now?