Andy Richardson: 'Do something, Stanley'
It must be hard to have a dad who keeps getting you into trouble.
It’s easy to imagine Boris Johnson is thinking: “That’s another fine mess you got me into,” as he reflects on his own father’s refusal to wear a mask in shops. Stanley Johnson was pictured shopping in London without a mask, just a few months after he’d flown out to Greece when everyone else was locked down.
Mind you, trouble has a way of finding the Prime Minister without him looking for it and his ticking off in the House of Commons for bypassing MPs showed that Speaker Sir Lindsay Hoyle has teeth. Perhaps Sir Lindsay should be flown out to the USA to moderate the forthcoming US Presidential TV debates where two septuagenarians behave as though they’re getting ready for a bout of MMA. It’s not Covid-19 that’s toxic, it’s the debate between Trump and Biden.
Priti Patel’s latest plan for migrant seekers appears to be to hold them on disused ferries off the coast, or ship them to other countries who appear not to have been consulted on her plan. Moldova, Morocco and Papua New Guinea are among the countries who might host those seeking asylum. It’s very kind of Priti, providing those fleeing wars with extra airmiles. Asylym cruise ships; that’ll end well.
Panto dames are taking the crisis in our night-time economy to Downing Street by dressing up to make a point. Theatres are on the brink of collapse as they’ve been disbarred from normal trade since March and will lose their lucrative Christmas box office. In truth, they ain’t seen nothing yet. While Culture Minister Oliver Dowden pledged to get theatres open in time for Christmas – and the whole nation chorused ‘oh no he won’t’ – the situation has become perilous. The end of furlough means hundreds of thousands are about to join the unemployment line and the Government appears disengaged with the thorny question of what to do with our night-time economy.
Loo rolls are back on the shelves after the latest spate of panic buying, though Christmas puddings seem to have taken a hit as shoppers nick all the festive food.
The right wing media, meanwhile, is turning on Boris Johnson in a way not seen since the fag end of Jezza Corbyn’s inglorious reign over the Labour Party. It’s a good job there’s not an election looming. Bojo has lost his mojo. As Oliver Hardy might say: “Do something, Stanley.”
