Mark Andrews on Saturday: What Boris really meant, a world-class skinflint, and why burlier bobbies might mean fewer Tasers
What the Prime Minister said: "The G7 has huge leverage. If those huge funds are going to be unfrozen eventually for the use of the Afghan people, the Taliban cannot lurch back as a breeding ground for extremism, into a narco state."
What he meant: "If we bung these brutes a few billion, and ask very nicely, hopefully they will go easy on the beheadings and won't flood our country with drugs."
Good luck with that.
Boris Johnson may dream of becoming a latter-day Winston Churchill. But if he allows a gang of medieval savages with Kalashnikovs to hold Britain to ransom, I suspect he will be remembered more as a latter-day Neville Chamberlain.
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The PM's intervention came as one-armed cyclist Jaco van Gass took gold at the Paralympics.
Jaco, a former paratrooper, lost his left arm to a Taliban bomb in 2009. How can we possibly cheer Jaco's achievements and then offer any kind of support to the regime which caused his injuries?
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Kate Hashimoto sounds a bundle of fun, doesn't she?
The self-confessed skinflint reveals she equipped her flat with furnishings liberated from skips, hasn't done any laundry for three years, and has worn the same underwear since 1998. Oh, and she doesn't use toilet paper because she thinks it a waste.
A bit like the average crusty on the Extinction Rebellion protest.
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The Independent Office for Police Conduct has called for better training and monitoring in the use of Tasers following the death of Dalian Atkinson.
While this is obviously welcome, isn't it also time to question why the use of devices has become so widespread?
When Tasers were introduced, they were supposed to be a non-lethal alternative to firearms, a less-dangerous weapon to be deployed in deadly situations. In Dalian Atkinson's case, it appears one was used on an unarmed, probably mentally-ill man, who was merely getting a bit lairy. In the old days, two big blokes would have slung him in the back of a van, a night in the cells would have followed, and he would have woke the next day feeling mortified.
The growing use of Tasers coincides with the transformation of police forces from being made up of predominantly big, burly blokes in the past, to the highly educated and diverse forces we have today.
It's great having brains. But you can't help but think a bit more brawn would mean a few less Tasers. And a few less deaths.
