Mark Andrews: Rishi keeps his problems in check and Lopetegui leaves Wolves in the lurch
Inflation still raging rampant, no sign of an end to the war in Ukraine. Half the public sector on strike, the other half refusing to go into the office, and no end in sight to the small boats crisis.
A good thing Rishi Sunak's got a plan, then. Chess boards in public parks.
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Now, I'm all for encouraging chess in schools. Unlike most board and card games, which are based on a fair degree of chance, chess is the closest thing to a game of pure tactical nous. I'd rather see a focus on getting kids to the top of the international tables for the Three Rs, foreign languages, and even technical skills such as computing, but given that school timetables are already clogged up with environmental indoctrination, Edna Everage reading hours and lectures on healthy eating, I don't suppose a few games of chess will do much harm.
But chess in public parks? Maybe the Prime Minister hopes the gangs who have turned so many parks on rough estates into no-go areas will stop the stabbings and shootings, and settle their differences over a game of chess instead.
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When I started at this newspaper some time ago, I signed a three-year contract on the understanding that if I wanted to leave before that time I would have to buy myself out and compensate the company.
In November last year, Julen Lopetegui also signed a three-year contract to manage Wolves. Then, three days before the start of the new season, he walks out, leaving the club in the lurch. It is reported he will receive a seven-figure compensation figure.
Premier League football. It's a different ball game, isn't it?
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According to a new study, 'job title inflation' is the big employment trend at the moment. If companies can't afford to give junior employees a pay rise, they will give them a pretentious title instead, resulting in a 53 per cent increase in the number of 'managers' and 'leads' who have less than two years' experience.
It reminds me of a particularly beautiful scene in Crossroads, where the wealthy-but-deranged Rosemary Hunter taunts her gold-digging new daughter-in-law 'Miss' Diane, who is working night duty on motel reception.
"I'd like a cup of coffee in my room," demands Rosemary.
"Oi'll send someone up," Miss Diane grudgingly mutters, in a bad Brummie accent.
"And why can't you bring it to my room?" goads Rosemary.
Purple with rage, Miss Diane can hold her temper no longer: "Because Oi'm not a waitress, Oi'm the cold-buffet manager!"
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When police visited the home of an autistic 16-year-old girl, cowering in the corner of her bedroom, the youngster told an officer she looked like her lesbian grandmother.
In the days of Dixon of Dock Green, the officer would have laughed off the jibe as part of the job. Had it happened in The Bill, the girl would have been told not to be so rude, and that would have been it.
But of course, we live in the age of woke and 'hate crimes'. So seven officers were deployed to drag a vulnerable child kicking and screaming to the police station.
No wonder they don't have time to bother with shoplifting.
