Mark Andrews: Never mind Netflix, North Korean TV is on the way

Now I've never bothered with TV subscription service before, mainly because I wouldn't know how to access one, and I don't have a home computer. But given that all the greatest shows ever to be approved by Kim Jong Un will soon be available at the flick of a switch, it would seem rude not to, wouldn't it?

I'm particularly looking forward to seeing a very uplifting drama called The Motto, where a father fears he has let the Worker's Party down when his construction project fails, only to get his mojo back when he reminisces about his endless devotion to the party in the past.

Let's Trim Our Hair in Accordance with the Socialist Lifestyle is another favourite, where men with inappropriate barnets are dragged off the streets, and asked to give account of themselves in a studio interview, before being given an makeover by a state-approved hairdresser. A bit like Trinny and Susannah, but with more attitude.

And looking at the state of some of the people around town, I don't think it would be an entirely bad idea if we did our own version.

Nevertheless, I think A Day in Exercise will probably be my fave show. This heart-warming show tells the story of a young military officer who dares to break custom for the sake of effectiveness in battle by deliberately tampering with his soldiers’ rifles to ensure they check them at all times. But when the young platoon leader is injured in battle, he regains his strength by looking at the supreme leader's face on the front of the state newspaper Rodong Sinmun.

A bit like how I feel when I see Rishi Sunak.

* * *

Amid all the excitement about the Princess of Wales' doctored photo – a furore I cannot begin to understand – the Government's Extremism Bill has slipped largely under the radar. Which is unfortunate, as the latter troubles me far more than the former.

I find the idea of any government deciding what should be considered extreme to be deeply troubling. More than that, it opens the door to a hypothetical future government, with less-than-benevolent motives, using the legislation for repressive purposes.

And finally, because we live in 21st-century Britain, we can pretty much guarantee the human rights lawyers will have a field day, at the the taxpayer's expense, obvs.

As far as I'm concerned, people should be free to hold whatever extreme views they like – as long as they don't act on them. Instead of navel-gazing about what constitutes extremism, the Government should focus on how to prevents these ideologies from spilling over into violence, intimidation or disruption.

And given that it can't stop crusties from Just Stop Oil from bringing cities to a standstill, I won't be holding my breath.