Mark Andrews: Watch out Daisy, the taxman's coming, plus the joys of American elections

He sounds like he should have been on Radio Luxembourg in the 60s, and maybe now presenting a late-night nostalgia show on Hits Radio or something.

But Jacob is actually a farming minister in the Danish government. And when it comes to making dull subjects sound sexy, you can't accuse him of not trying.

"We are writing a new chapter in Danish agricultural history," said Jacob as he announced his new flagship policy on Monday. A tax on farting cows.

Actually, it's not just cows. Pigs, sheep, horses and goats will also be subject to the tax. It's just that flatulent cows sounds funnier. Farmers will be charged 120 kroner, or £14, for every tonne of methane they emit from 2030 onwards, rising to £35 in 2035.

The mind boggles. First of all, how are they going to measure that? Will the cows be equipped with some kind of contraption that collects the guff, and then weighs it? And if so, wouldn't it be better to harness the gas as some kind of natural resource? You know, make us less dependent on Putin's gas and all that?

And how is charging a tax going to stop cows from breaking wind? Maybe money raised will be used to pay for elocution lessons.

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Apparently, the digestive system of farm animals is responsible for about a sixth of the world's greenhouse gases. According to the United Nations, animal flatulence makes a bigger contribution to global warming than all the cars and vans put together.

Amazing, isn't it? Whatever Jeremy Clarkson does, it still manages to be his fault in the end.

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Did you stay up to watch it? If you think our elections are tedious, spare a thought for the Yanks. Their four-month campaign began this week, with the first of the televised election debates. And some people in the UK stayed up until 2am to listen to two old duffers arguing about the size of their golf handicaps, and the supposedly most powerful man in the world rambling incoherently in sentences that made no sense at all.

It has been suggested that the TV debates have begun early this year, because both candidates need to raise funds. It is estimated that this year's US election will end up costing £100 billion.

Still, if you want the best, you've got to pay for it, haven't you?

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And even worse is the French general election, inexplicably called by pipsqueak president Emmanuel Macron at a time when the rebranded National Front is surging in the polls. Which makes Rishi Sunak's decision to go to the country when he is about to be trounced seem eminently sensible.

It is a similar story all over mainland Europe. The far right is on the march, with young, gullible voters being duped by the seductive promise that everyone can have their cake and eat it, as long as they're horrible to foreigners. And you still think it's a good idea giving 16-year-olds the vote, Sir Keir?