Mark Andrews: 21st century ethics, Piglets, bigots and why it might be time for the voice of progressive Britain to eat a bit of humble pie

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Truth be told, my pity lies less with Ballard, who is big enough to look after himself, and more with anybody who took offence at his quip.

How can anybody possibly find that remotely pejorative? And if they really are that fragile, how will they ever cope with the rigours of everyday life: a shouty boss, a jobsworth official, or a surly bouncer?

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Maybe this hair-trigger sensitivity is the reason television is so bad nowadays. You may recall, a few weeks ago, the Police Federation was up in arms over the name of ITV's new flagship sitcom about trainee coppers, which was called 'Piglets'.

Having watched the show for the first time this week, I would say the name is by far the best part of this dreadful programme.

A butch-but-efficient female superintendent, a ditzy secretary, a presumably neurodiverse Muslim trainee obsessed with her pen, it makes The Brittas Empire seem like A Clockwork Orange. Sure, it's thoroughly unrelateable cast ticks every diversity box going. But it didn't make me laugh once.

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Perhaps for some real satire about law enforcement in today's Britain, the writers should have headed up to Shrewsbury Crown Court where prolific thief Chris Foster was being sentenced this week for his latest shoplifting spree.

So well-known is Foster to the shopkeepers in his home town of Market Drayton, that he probably qualifies for a loyalty card. Except, of course, that he rarely pays for his shopping, which tends to involve the big-ticket items.

This week he was handed a suspended prison sentence for his six latest offences. Which might have been reasonable were he not already subject to such a sentence for some of his 33 previous offences.

Judge Anthony Lowe said Foster was 'a nuisance' rather than a danger to the public. That's ok then.

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Meanwhile, police forces across the country are bracing themselves for 'demonstrations' by hundreds of daft bigots who feel the appropriate response to the horrific murder of three children at a dance class is to smash up a few police cars and throw stones at a mosque.

The problem, it seems, is that some folk are so stupid they assume everything they read on social media to be true. And the reason these 'facts' don't appear in the 'mainstream media' is because we're all part of some global conspiracy involving David Icke and lizards.

The scary thing is that a proportion of these people will inevitably be called up to serve on juries.

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And believe me, I've got colleagues who spend several hours every week checking out allegations on social media. Some of them do stack up, which are the ones you read in the paper. But the majority don't. Particularly the ones involving far-fetched conspiracy theories.

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"The Sun finds itself in line of fire over report on Huw Edwards," ran the headline in a rather sanctimonious piece in The Guardian last year. The voice of progressive conscience said the tabloid faced 'serious questions over its reporting and ethical standards', after it revealed the then un-named newsreader had paid a 17-year-old drug addict £35,000 for indecent pictures.

Given that Edwards is now awaiting sentence for the possession of 41 indecent images of children, is it perhaps not now time for somebody at The Guardian to eat a little humble pie? I won't hold my breath.