Mark Andrews: Judge rules on bald jokes, corporate warriors, and a king who talks like Jethro

Yvonne and her team have spent the past 10 years studying the measurements of Richard's jawline and skull shape, poring over his speech patterns, and worked with Liverpool's John Moore University to create an avatar which sounds like, er Jethro. Who said all that effort was wasted?

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There was a very funny scene in Coronation Street, in the days when it was just a bit of light-hearted fun rather than a digest of the latest social issues, where Fred Gee, the surly bald-headed barman, turned up for work suddenly sporting a full head of hair.

No advanced warning, no explanation. Too embarrassed to raise the issue, everybody in the pub pretended not to notice, and Fred said nothing either. Then grumpy old codger Albert Tatlock entered the room: "What's that on your head?"

Well, we probably won't see humour of that nature any more, following this week's ruling in the High Court. Three judges – all said to be follically challenged ­– have ruled that calling a man 'bald' constitutes sexual harassment in the workplace.

Is there nothing you can joke about these days? Apart from Donald Trump, obviously.

Aside from denigrating the suffering of those who experience real sexual harassment, it is worrying indeed how everybody is becoming so thin-skinned. Then again, maybe calling somebody thin-skinned is also a hate crime or something these days.

Anyway, if I was the employer who now stands accused of sexual harassment over this taunt, I would be lodging an appeal.

I would demand my case be heard by a proper judge. One with a wig.

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I was a bit coy about mentioning it, but I thought you should be the first to know. I have been invited to join Steven's Executive Warrior Academy.

To be honest, I never really considered myself much of a warrior, executive or otherwise. Worrier, maybe, but warrior, no. I've watched Gladiator, and it's not my scene at all.

I think the invitation probably comes from clicking the wrong link on Facebook or something. Or maybe it's a consequence of fastidiously rejecting every category of 'cookies' on the worldwide web. which probably explains why I keep seeing pop-up adverts for police whistles and old people's underwear as well.

Anyway, Steven is going to teach me 'how to achieve superhuman levels of executive performance' and 'reignite energy and focus so I can be unstoppable at work and in life'. All by avoiding pasta for lunch.

Steven also offers a 'five-minute memory decline diagnosis' that will 'help the ambitious corporate warrior discover the cause of their failing memory, and give them specific action to...' er, sorry, I think I've forgotten the rest of it.

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Heard this week on a 'tough' estate, from a young mother reprimanding her errant children: "If you don't stop it, I'm gonna make you go to school." No doubt a bright future awaits them.