Mark Andrews on Vordeman's meltdown, a politically incorrect car, and a Hollywood actor on the run

"Voters in the world’s most important democracy will be asked to make a choice between a man who is unfit to be president, and one who is incapable," I wrote.

But that was then. Before in Kamala Harris, the US Democratic Party achieved the remarkable feat of finding somebody who was both at once.

It wasn't a great choice, was it? A woke, cackling lawyer whose big idea seemed to be making it easier to get an abortion, and an oafish reality TV star who reckons the people of Ohio love nothing more than to chow down into a ginger tomcat casserole for their supper.

But while the prospect of Trump's return may pose serious questions about the future of the Ukraine and Nato, watching the sanctimonious broadcasters let their masks slip has been a joy to behold. 

Emily Maitlis went into a sweary meltdown on live TV, the supposedly impartial Tom Bradby started alluding to claims the Donald was a fascist. For Carol Vorderman, the former face of the payday-loan industry, it didn't quite compute, she had been on social media the night before insisting her candidate was going to win. Sadly, I didn't get the chance to hear James O'Brien's radio show the next day - the first time I feel I've actually missed out.

The funniest thing is, that these people never learn. Listening to all the inquests that have followed Trump's election, the conclusion seems to be that the result is down to a failure of the US education system. That, outside the big, cosmopolitan cities of the east and west coast, the majority of Americans are not as well-informed as the urban sophisticates, and were more concerned with money in their pockets than high-minded progressive ideals. If only they had received more support, they would have taken a more enlightened approach. 

And it is attitudes like that which are the precise reason why Trump is so popular.

In another victory from those who seek to sap the fun and joy out of everything, the Midget pub in Abingdon has caved in to pressure from the wokesters and will drop its name, which is considered offensive to short people.

The name, of course is nothing to do with anybody's height, but is in honour of the legendary MG Midget sports car, which was famously made in the town. I bet they would like to ban those, as well, if they could. But of course MG's aren't made in Abingdon any more, they are built in China. Another win for the globalists.

I was going to say I wonder what these killjoys make of the Fatty Arbuckle's chain. But I learn that they have already won that battle, the brand has been known as plain Arbuckle's since 2000. 

One-time Hollywood bit-part actor Jason Hoganson is wanted by police after going Awol while awaiting a trial on an assault charge.

Northumbria Police have asked anybody who sees him around to turn him in.

The big question is, how will we recognise him?