Peter Rhodes: Okay – person up

“MALE reluctance to get serious about a relationship.” Columnist Rod Liddle's explanation of a rise in Britain's cat population fuelled by men preferring cats to dogs.

ACTUALLY, I bet the reason for the choice of cats over dogs is the size of houses and flats for sale today. Some are so tiny that you can barely swing a cat, so a Labrador would be out of the question.

COUNTRYFILE (BBC1) solemnly informs us that the UK farming industry gets £3 billion a year in subsidies from the public, but fails to mention that the BBC gets £4 billion.

I LIKE Gib. In my TA days I twice served with the Gibraltar garrison, doing the old pomp-and-ceremony, post-Imperial thing with brass bands and sunset flag-lowering, followed by gin slings and San Mig. But despite the red phone boxes and wall-to-wall Union Jacks, Gib never really struck me as particularly British. It's one of those awkward, troublesome fragments of empire that should have been sorted out years ago but never was. In a referendum in 2002, a convincing 99 per cent of Gibraltarians voted against Britain sharing sovereignty with Spain. But in last year's EU referendum, 95 per cent of its people voted to remain in the EU. How on earth do you square that circle?

WITH Brussels now warming toward Spain's claim to the Rock and Britain preparing to leave the EU, the only way forward is, sadly, yet another wretched referendum. Simple question: Would Gibraltarians rather be in the EU as part of Spain or be dragged out of the EU by remaining loyal to Britain? Until that is answered, all the bluster in London, Madrid and Brussels is mere hot air.

THERE may be a message for our time in one of Gibraltar's tourist attractions. The 100 Ton Gun was installed in the 1880s to defend the Rock and was the last word in artillery. It took a team of skilled gunners three hours to build up enough steam to load and fire it. But that was fine because from the time a 19th century warship was sighted out at sea until it came within range was about three hours. Pragmatism, professionalism and patience are essential virtues as the enemy approaches. They also give you time to talk.

IN some academic circles, the use of terms such as “man up” and “forefathers” is seen as sexist and threatening, and students can be penalised for using them in essays which count toward their degrees. A document from Hull University revealed at the weekend warns students: “Failure to use gender-sensitive language will impact your mark.” You know, the more I look at “penalised,” the more I worry.

BUT seriously, did anyone ever imagine their kids would end up spending £9,000 a year on university fees, plus accommodation, to be educated by people who get a fit of the vapours on hearing words such as “mankind,” “man-made” or “foreman”? What is the gender-sensitive term for absolute cobblers?