Peter Rhodes: More on the way?

AFTER an opinion poll this week revealed public disappointment with Prince Charles, the Windsor spin-machine rolled out Dickie Arbiter, former Palace press secretary to tell the nation: "It is time we learnt to cherish him." Well, maybe it is. But the snag with Charles in his up-and-down relationship with us plebs is that just when we're about to cherish him, he does something uncherishable.

TAKE his affair with Camilla which led to the break-up of his marriage and, ultimately, the death of his sons' mother. Arbiter insists: "To chastise the Prince unendingly for his relationship with Camilla is deeply unfair. If anything, he will be a modern king, with a deeper trove of life experience, because of it." Really? So cheating on Diana will make Charles a better king? Whatever we may think about HRH, does anyone cherish Dickie Arbiter?

A PARTICULARLY wicked email scam which I first noticed this week begins: "Dear User, Our record indicates that you recently made a request to shutdown your e-mail . . . . If this request was made accidentally and you have no knowledge of it, you are advised to cancel the request now." Clever, eh? Who, given the chance, would not cancel something they had done in error? They're out to steal your money. Bin it.

AFTER a season steeped in controversy over Gay Pride badges, altered flapjack recipes and dropping the "Easter" from egg hunts, National Trust head Dame Helen Ghosh admits she may have alienated "some of our perhaps more traditional visitors." She still doesn't get it, does she? Ghosh seems to imply that "traditional" visitors are some cranky minority within the NT. The truth is that if you take away the traditional folk, there is no National Trust. In the main it is supported, staffed and visited by over-50s, middle-class English people whose only interest is to see grand old houses and beautiful gardens. They are not some radical hip-hop, happening youth group and they don't like being made to feel uncomfortable about sex, racism or slavery. If NT folk were asked how NT properties could be improved, they would probably opt for a good cup of tea and more lavatories, not a lecture on Gay Pride.

JACOB Rees-Mogg shows off his sixth child to the world. Jamie Oliver and his wife Jools say they haven't ruled out having a sixth baby. Katie Price is on record as being "desperate" for a sixth. Wayne and Coleen Rooney announce their fourth is on the way. These fertile celebrities are a reminder that these days big families are pretty much restricted to the very wealthy or the very poor. If you're super-rich you can afford them. If you're on benefits the state can afford them. There are, of course, exceptions but as a rule if you see a family with four or more kids, they either live in Millionaires' Row or Benefits Street.

JUDGING by the funniest one-liners at the Edinburgh Festival this week, you can only conclude that funny isn't as funny as it used to be.