Peter Rhodes: Playing God?

IF you're interested in social history, the Glimpses features on the Talking Pictures channel (Freeview 81) are a treat. But even these innocent little dips into yesteryear are not immune from the offend-me-not demands of today's Snowflake Generation. A few days ago "Scarborough 1930" was a fascinating compilation of cine film from a pre-war festival in the resort. It was preceded with a warning that the programme contained "scenes of hunting that some viewers might find offensive." Oh, please. There was no slaughter, no fox's corpse, no grisly blooding of young children, just a few seconds of the local hunt exercising the hounds on the beach. I detest fox hunting but how precious do you have to be to get offended at the sight of 50 dogs wagging their tails on a Yorkshire beach 87 years ago?

AND once we start pre-warning of "offensive" material where will it end? How long before film of classic Grand Prix will be banned on the grounds that the gratuitous use of petrol may offend the green lobby?

AFTER last week's item about the dilemma of casting film roles from a global pool of acting talent, a reader points out that, in the film Bruce Almighty, Morgan Freeman played God. Mr Freeman is an American and God, as everyone knows, is an Englishman.

MARKETING experts will tell you that mail-shotting is now such a precise science that they can almost guarantee a glossy brochure through the door will produce a sale. Meanwhile, back in the real world, a Porsche dealer has just sent me an invitation to a reception to sample the "unequivocal sportiness" of the new £73,000 Panamera Sport Turismo. I have absolutely no idea who gave them my name but, having just received my bus pass, I am not exactly in the market for a new Porsche. At least not without selling a couple of the polo ponies.

IT'S that time of year again. My GP surgery not only invites me for a flu jab but demands I sign and return a disclaimer ("I hereby decline the flu vaccination") if I don't want the jab. Sometimes it's more like dealing with lawyers than doctors.

AFTER my recent bit on the dangers of cycling and walking, a car-hating reader suggests: "Cars should be set to explode if they exceed speed limits by more than 5mph, that would remove a lot of dangerous morons from the roads very quickly." You would allow speeders a 5mph margin, sir? This is precisely the sort of sloppy, woolly, kid-glove thinking that lost us the Empire. The bomb-in-car idea is excellent but it should detonate the moment the vehicle hits 30mph. Futhermore, it should automatically trigger explosions to wipe out the driver's family, relations and close friends. Annihilation - it's the only language these blighters understand.

I LEAP to the penitent stool, having committed the grave sin yesterday of referring to someone breaking a carrot "in half." As any pedant will tell you, the correct term is to break the carrot "in two." I never cease to be amazed at the things people take offence at.

PUZZLING, isn't it, that Theresa May is so determined to fight the next General Election? She didn't really fight the last one.