Peter Rhodes: Equal, not better

I READ in one newspaper that Wayne Rooney and Laura Simpson had "shared a kiss." But what else can you do with a kiss?

HOW justice works. On the day this week that local councils unveiled plans to slap £2,500 fines on householders who overload their wheelie bins, the Ministry of Justice revealed that 437 people who admitted crimes including blackmail, kidnap, rape and child abuse have been let off with a caution. Surprised? Nah, me neither.

THE Royal Air Force has become the first of the armed forces to open all roles to men and women, including close combat. Total equality at last, eh? Well, not exactly. Gushing over the new policy, head of recruiting Group Captain Wendy Rothery says women will bring "a different perspective" to combat and "emotional intelligence would be one aspect of that." Hang on a minute. Equality means just that. To suggest that women are in some way better and more emotionally intelligent than men is as unacceptable as declaring that men make better soldiers because they are bigger, stronger and more aggressive. You may believe such things in private but in these politically-correct times, you are not supposed to say them.

IN any case, emotional intelligence is not defined by gender. I spent 15 years in the reserves and met some suprisingly sensitive male officers and a number of extremely hard-nosed females. I recall one annual camp, after giving a soldier a 24-hour pass to visit his wife (he lived only five miles down the road), I was marked down by the colonel in my yearly report as "inclined to take too much account of human factors." That colonel was a woman.

TENUOUS advertising campaign. What's the connection between the start of the school year and damage to alloy car wheels? According to a hopeful mail-shot this week, wheel scrapes and scuffs are "all too often unavoidable in the dash to find a parking space in the school run battlefield." Nice try. And don't forget the potential alloy-wheel dangers of Father's Day, half-term breaks and the winter solstice.

I DON'T pretend to understand the argument that a surge in sales of 35mm film cameras is fuelled by kids rebelling against the "fake photos" produced by digital cameras. But if the kids really are rushing to buy film cameras, good luck to them. The great thing about film is that with just 36 photos per roll, you learn to ration yourself. The whirring motor-drive madness of digital is replaced by a considered, creative click. And when your holiday is over and you're assembling the album, you are selecting from only a few dozen images, not thousands. We have German friends who speak excellent English but still refer to "making a photo." Sometimes their error makes sense. With digital you take. With film you make.

I ENTERED journalism at a time when some photographers, newly equipped with 35mm Nikons, were still lamenting the passing of the old Speed Graphic, the classic press camera. In ye olden days, snappers were sent out with a pack of just 12 exposures to see them through the day.

INCIDENTALLY, press photographers adore being called snappers. Try it.