Beware of kazoo flu. PETER RHODES on musical hazards, another new bridge and that royal haircut
A READER who works in a supermarket reminds us that, following Waitrose's lead, all supermarkets will be restricting the sale of caffeine energy drinks to under-16s from March. This is all very noble, yet not good enough. As he puts it: "Which supermarket will raise its head above the parapet of hypocrisy and stop selling the world's worst killer and least healthy product, cigarettes?" Good point. Don't hold your breath (especially you smokers).
TALKING of health, I suggested a few days ago that 30p invested in musical instruments would buy you about a one-tenth share in a kazoo. Obviously, in these flu-ridden times, ten people sharing the same kazoo is not to be recommended. Kazoo flu - you read it here first.
PRINCE William has "laughed off" suggestions that he paid £180 for his new shaven-headed look. This is only a theory but I'd be surprised if he paid anything. His wife's hair stylist apparently went to Kensington Palace to give HRH the razor-cut treatment. The stylist is probably well-pleased with all the publicity and would not dream of sending a bill.
IN case William is remotely interested, in real life, for a Number 3 cut which is not quite so brutal as his, I pay £5 (admittedly with the Nearer My God To Thee discount).
FOOTBALLERS and TV reality "stars" may cheerfully pay £180 for haircuts but this merely proves the old adage: a fool and his parting are soon moneyless.
ONE of the privileges of my career was to "walk the course" in Normandy and Flanders with old soldiers of both the First and Second World Wars. They were of different generations but they were still real, living people and had much in common. When you saw the film of the WW2 soldiers, you saw - and heard - people not so different from all the other Brits around you. But the WW1 lads got a worse deal from technology. They were forever trapped in the silent, jerky films of 1914-18. Wordless and unnatural, they march across the screen like extras in a Charlie Chaplin film. It is hard to relate to them, hard even to take them seriously. So full marks to Peter Jackson, best known as director of Lord of the Rings, for turning the latest computer programs on those old films, creating 3D, colouring the images and slowing the action. The result gives those young men of the Great War a new dignity and vibrancy. As Jackson puts it: "The faces of the men just jump out at you. . . . It's the human beings that were actually there." And when we see them we realise they were kids, so much just like our own kids, and we understand that 100 years is not so long ago.
BRIDGE fever spreads. After last week's proposal for Boris's Bridge across the Channel, Professor Alan Dunlop of Liverpool University says a 12-mile bridge between Ireland and Scotland could create a "Celtic powerhouse." If only they could agree how to pronounce it. Keltick? Selltick?
