Peter Rhodes on contact-lens hygiene, soaking the rich and a ratty misunderstanding
THE Guardian, with its uncanny knack of focusing on the issues that matter to real people, delivers a piece headlined: "Brexit chisels away any right Britain had to the Parthenon marbles." Why, in Wolverhampton they talk of little else . . .
TWO rock-solid articles of faith have been stalking the Labour Conference at Liverpool this week. The first is that, given the choice, the British people will come to their senses and vote to remain in the European Union. The second is that if a snap General Election is called, Labour will win. Time, as they say, will tell.
MEANWHILE, we may all punch the air with joy at Labour's plans to wring billions out of the super-rich. At present, the richest one per cent of taxpayers comprises about 300,000 people earning more than £160,000 a year. They pay about a quarter of all UK income tax. So how much more will they willingly pay before consulting the best tax-minimising accountants or emigrating? Has anyone done the sum?
A DISEASE which can cause blindness in contact-lens wearers has been reported by researchers in London. We are told to "avoid wearing them while swimming, face-washing or bathing," as though this is established wisdom. I've been wearing lenses for 15 years and no-one has ever told me to remove them before washing my face. Nor is it mentioned in the lens instructions, or in the manufacturers' online guide. Better late than never.
A FEW days ago, challenging the old whopper that the EU brought peace to Europe, I referred to the sacrifice of American and Russian soldiers. As some of you have pointed out, untold thousands of British and Commonwealth warriors also died in the world wars to restore peace to the continent. My oversight.
A CZECH politician, Věra Jourová, who is the European Union's Justice Commissioner, has taken grave offence at the British media's treatment of the Salzburg summit. She is outraged at the Sun's headline describing European leaders as "EU Dirty Rats." This, she says, makes the case for "a European approach to media based on quality and smart regulation, if needed." Or as we English call it, censorship. But there is a culture gap here. Foreigners see the term "dirty rats" and picture filthy, disease-ridden rodents. Brits instantly recognise it as a joke. "You dirty rats" was James Cagney's immortal line in Each Dawn I Die (1939), and has been parodied by comedians from Morecambe & Wise to Dad's Army. Don't you find it chilling that foreign politicians could advocate controlling the British Press to protect the EU from criticism? Especially foreigners who know nothing of Eric and Ernie and have never heard of Private Pike.
THIS, incidentally, is not the first time anyone has suggested special protection for the EU. A senior EU law officer suggested some years ago that criticism of the EU was akin to blasphemy. Let us pray not.
