Peter Rhodes on vicious Vikings, a dubious gentleman and why the public might not assist the police

TWO announcements from the police this week. The first was from the Chief Constable of Lancashire Andy Rhodes (no relation) urging the public to help police rather than film them being beaten up by thugs. The second came from a police and crime commissioner, Alison Hernandez, suggesting fixed-penalty fines should be hiked from £100 to £130 and the cost of a "driver offender retraining" course from £90 to £120. Spot the problem?

IF the police wish to use drivers as a limitless source of income, while virtually ignoring burglaries, that is their right. But they shouldn't be surprised if Joe Public, just having been stung for £130 for driving at 34mph or being told his break-in does not warrant a visit, does not rush to their aid when things turn nasty. As a rule, we help those who are on our side. Little by little, the police are chucking away that goodwill.

AS the Bible very nearly tells us, pinstripes goeth before a fall. There are those who claim that every aspect of the creation known as Jacob Rees-Mogg is phony and he is a carefully assembled replica of the epitome of the old-fashioned English gentleman. When enemies dismiss him as "the minister for the 19th century," Rees-Mogg is happy because nobody ever lost votes by playing the nostalgia card. Trouble comes when The Nice Gentleman is caught saying ungentlemanly things, particularly about women. And this week, Jacob Rees Mogg has said some most ungallant things about Theresa May, suggesting the time is ripe to ditch her.. Suddenly, under the hand-stitched turnups of that expensive suit, we see something nasty. What's that? Beneath the pinstripes, a glimpse of bovver boots.

IF you're about to tune into the new Netflix series of The Last Kingdom (spoiler alert), you might wish to hide behind the sofa. In the first five minutes, two eyes are gouged out, a tongue is cut off and a horse is disembowelled in order that a Viking chief may wash his hair in its blood. They didn't have Head & Shoulders in those days.

MANY historians claim that Vikings were not the blood-caked ogres of legend but hard working settlers and traders. But where's the award-winning TV drama in that.? In tonight's gripping episode nobody bathes in blood and Uhtred the potter sells two bowls for four groats.

THE Guardian is wringing its hands over the fact that one in four voters across Europe now supports populist parties. It then presents its readers with a lofty 1,000-word academic analysis of the issue without once using the word "migration."

THE Daily Mail has been reprinting old copies of Femail to celebrate the supplement's 50th aniversary, presumably to show how much women's issues have changed. From the 1960s we have a feature on top-value tights, the search for Mr Right and a female motorist complaining about male drivers. From the 1980s there are articles on home birth, assertive women, bras that are meant to be seen and Germaine Greer complaining about the Englishman's attitude to sex. Change? What change?