Peter Rhodes on blameless fat, Tweeting about a tragedy and pronouncing Saoirse

ACCORDING to the Royal College of Physicians, obesity is not a lifestyle choice but an illness "caused by health inequalities, genetic influences and social factors." Well, thank the Lord for that. You see, I have been suffering from this mysterious illness since Christmas. I am about 4lbs sicker than I was in November.

I WAS assuming my malady might be associated with mince pies, stollen, Christmas cake, Christmas pudding, red wine, roast pork, rich gravy, sugar mice and an entire box of Tesco extra-chocolatey biscuits that somehow vanished on New Year's Eve, along with half a bottle of Glenfiddich. I felt I might somehow be personally responsible for my 4lb malady but now I see I am a hapless victim of genes, society and health inequalities. I feel better for being blameless. Now, where's the rest of that stollen?

INCIDENTALLY, not all doctors share the Royal College of Physicians' view on obesity. So don't be surprised if your GP, instead of blathering kindly about genes, tells you to eat less and get off your lardy arse.

HER name would be on everybody's lips, if only we knew how to pronounce it. The Irish actor Saoirse Ronan is getting rave reviews in Mary Queen of Scots. A tip: Saoirse rhymes with graoirse, sclaoirse and praoirse

AT ABOUT 6pm last Friday police shot dead a man during "an intelligence-led operation” in Coventry. In the early hours of Saturday the West Midlands Police Twitter account of the incident. began "46 people are talking about this," as though it were an invitation to join a neighbourhood chat about closing a bus shelter or fixing pot holes. Within a few hours, one Tweeter joined the discussion to claim the dead man had been shot in the back by police. He repeated the claim a few minutes later. By Saturday evening a senior police officer was on telly, denying this suggestion. Some anti-police Tweets were later removed yet others condemning the dead man, including the tasteless "One less scumbag" remained. It raises the question of why a police social-media site has any part in such an incident. It gives a platform for anybody, including police-haters and fake-news merchants, to express any opinion, no matter how damaging or defamatory, while creating extra work for the cops and doing nothing to solve the crime. There may be a time and place for Twitter but is this it?

YOU may have loved or hated last night's docu-drama Brexit: The Uncivil War (C4) but, by assuming the pro and anti-Leave campaigns were hugely influential, it ignores my pet theory. This is that if the Referendum had been held the day after David Cameron announced it, with no campaigns for or against, the result would have been much the same. When it comes to the EU, minds were made up over the preceding 40 years, not in the last few weeks before the vote.

UNDERSTANDING headlines. "Hospitals face mayhem when cold snap comes" actually translates as "No mayhem yet."