Peter Rhodes on deserted hospitals, the two-metre rule and the many meanings of a Latin phrase

Are people avoiding hospitals for fear of catching the virus? A reader writes: “On Friday night I had the misfortune of attending the A&E department at New Cross Hospital, Wolverhampton. From 11pm until 11.45pm, I was the only person there.”

Deserted A&Es could be caused by fear of coronavirus. Or maybe it's more to do with the pubs being closed and the drunks not having to stagger home or start fights. I once asked a nurse what sort of patients she treated in A&E at the weekend. “T***s, mostly” she replied sweetly.

Meanwhile, amid the mayhem, some common sense. It is reported that Warwickshire County Council has “placed under review” its plan to allow transgender pupils to use girls' toilets if they found it more comfortable. The move outraged many parents who claimed that the policy disregarded the rights of girls. And rightly so. There is absolutely no merit in making one or two pupils feel “comfortable” if it makes thousands of other pupils deeply uncomfortable.

One of the Government's scientific advisers breaks ranks to say there has never been a scientific basis for two-metre spacing between people, as recommended by the NHS during lockdown. He claims it was “conjured out of nowhere.” But there is, he says, “a certain amount of scientific evidence for a one-metre distance.” Behold the gulf between laboratory science and real life. As any non-scientist will tell you, if you want people to stay one metre apart you tell them the safe distance is two metres. And that, I guess, is what has happened in this case. I'm not sure what kind of science this is but it's hardly rocket science.

Boris Johnson quoted the Roman statesman Cicero: “Salus populi suprema lex esto” which has been widely translated as “the health of the people shall be the supreme law.” This is seen as the PM committing himself to a strict lockdown for the foreseeable future. But the great thing about Latin is that if you invite two scholars to translate anything, you'll get at least three versions. You will find Cicero's word “salus” translated not only as health but also as welfare, good, salvation, felicity or security. And what that means is that a wily politician can invoke Cicero to justify almost anything, from locking everybody in their homes to letting us all run wild. What a great language.

By chance, as Johnson was quoting Cicero, I was ploughing through Cicero's life story as told by Robert Harris in his novel, Lustrum. This demands total concentration on ancient Rome and clearing your mind of Monty Python's Life of Brian. It is not easy. So far, Harris has introduced us to a vast cast of characters including Gellius, Bibulus and Fannius. No mention yet of Sillius Soddus or Biggus Dickus but I'm only half-way through.