Peter Rhodes on white statues, pride police cars and the simplest rule of the pandemic
As you may be aware, I have this theory that some people wake up each morning and think: “What's the silliest thing I can do today?”
Over to Cambridge University where, as part of its anti-racist strategy the archeology museum is using signs to explain why its plaster-cast statues are white. The simple explanation is that plaster just is white. Some academics, however, believe the whiteness creates an impression there was an “absence of diversity” in the ancient world, which needs correcting. One of their sceptical colleagues describes the move as being “as terrifying as it is comical.”
But why stop there? I'm sure with some careful use of coloured tile-grout dye, the museum staff could create a thoroughly diverse collection of Ancient Roman and Greek statues, from palest Briton to darkest Nubian. And then we could have a really good row about the scandal of Cambridge's “brownface” statues. Ah, don't you just love the silly season?
Imagine this, You are gay, lesbian or transsexual and have just been beaten to a pulp and robbed by some neo-Nazi thugs. The only good news is that the police are racing to the scene. And then the force's new “hate-crime car” arrives, painted in rainbow colours and sparkly stars with the slogan “Pride.” You expected a proper police response. Instead, you're getting what looks like Widow Twankey's personal transport.
According to police, cars sporting these new paint jobs will “give confidence to our LGBT+ community.” I doubt that. Confidence comes from knowing that the police will treat all serious crimes seriously and will go into action as though they've come to grab the villains, not hand out balloons.
Some critics say the Government won't be able to find enough homes for Afghan refugees. Prepare to be surprised. As tenants' rights have been strengthened and evictions virtually outlawed, letting property has become a low-return, high-risk occupation. This may partly explain why a staggering 270,000 homes in England have been standing empty for at least six months. And now along come 6,000 Afghan refugees and their families, passionately grateful to be safe in Britain, with their rents underwritten by the Government. I bet the landlords will be queuing up.
Having examined the evidence, scientists have now confirmed that thousands of Covid infections can be traced to sporting events such as Euro 2020 and music festivals. Join a crowd, join the statistics. How much simpler could it be?
