Peter Rhodes on violence, the rising price of beer and going flueless, emissionless and smug

I am no longer producing emissions. A plumber has removed the ancient coal-burning boiler at Chateau Rhodes and installed an electric boiler. So that's no more heaving buckets of anthracite, inhaling dust or spending half the year suffused in the cloying whiff of firelighters. Liberation day has arrived. I am clean, green and smug.

We toyed with installing a heat pump, a device being rabidly promoted by the Government, which is claimed to extract heat from cold English air. It sounds more like witchcraft than central heating and at this stage of development opinions are, as they say, mixed. An electrician tells me he has a nice little earner removing heat pumps for disappointed customers with tepid lounges.

An electric boiler on the other hand, uses the same proven technology as kettles and showers. There is, of course, a catch. Used liberally, it can cost a fortune in electricity – but only (and here's the clever bit) if you switch it on. A clean, green, emissionless and guiltless boiler is for showing off, not switching on. To avoid freezing to death we also have a woodburning stove and a mountain of logs. When it comes to saving the planet, I'm happy to be a pioneer, but not a martyr.

While the Chancellor was cheerfully announcing a cut in the price of beer, the beer industry predicted a rise. According to the City Pub Group, the price of beer may have to rise by up to 30p a pint to cover higher wages and energy costs. A 30p rise? There are those among us who can remember when 30p was the price of the whole pint. About 1976, since you ask.

Insulate Britain, the most irritating bunch of nanny-staters ever to glue noses to asphalt, have declared the M25 a “site of non-violent civil resistance.” Depends how you define violence. The first and commonest definition, as invoked by the glue-cheek brigade, is “behaviour involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something.”

But another, older definition of violence is “strength of emotion.” Pride & Prejudice fans will recall Elizabeth's repulsive suitor Mr Collins promising to assure her “in the most animated language of the violence of my affection." Insulate Britain are motivated by the violence of their beliefs. Without actually punching anybody they cause misery and distress. They can be defined as violent demonstrators and the police should handle them accordingly.

In the muesli belt there's a belief that the new, internet-based industries are infinitely cleaner and greener than dirty old soot, steam and metal-bashing. So it's fascinating to learn that, according to the latest research, the “dirty data” habit of storing billions of unnecessary photos and videos on servers around the world, creates a carbon footprint as big as that of the entire airline industry. We are devouring the planet, byte by byte.