Rhodes on a monarch's name, the scalping of Boris and how to settle an island dispute

According to the Daily Telegraph, Prince Charles will opt for a simple “Tudor Crown” insignia when he becomes king, “likely” with initials standing for Charles III. But how likely is that?

There has been speculation for years that, on taking the throne, Charles may drop his present forename and become King George VII. A firm decision and announcement from the Palace would be helpful, if only for the coronation souvenir industry.

I was surprised, flicking through BBCiPlayer, to stumble across Scarborough, the six-part comedy series set in the Yorkshire resort which screened for a few weeks in 2019 before suddenly vanishing. Written by Derren Litten who also wrote the ITV series Benidorm, it brought together a cast including Stephanie Cole, Kenneth Cranham, Jason Manford and Claire Sweeney. And it was funny, in the gentle, deadpan tradition of North Country humour.

Viewing it three years on, you have to wonder why the BBC, which ploughs so many millions into dead-end soaps, boring game shows and unfunny radio comedies, decided to axe Scarborough, with the pub landlord collapsing and the plot in mid-flow. I'd like to know how the story ends and if you catch the six episodes on iPlayer, I bet you will, too.

A reader tries to convince me that the Partygate questionnaire process is exactly the same as a fixed-penalty ticket you get for speeding. But it isn't. For three reasons.

Firstly, speeding is a precise offence, but as far as I'm aware, there is no legal definition of partying. Secondly, the normal fixed-penalty process is anonymous; there is no public hearing, no identification of the offender. Thirdly, nobody receiving a fixed-penalty fine would normally be expected to resign from their job.

Does any of this matter? It does if you believe that the whole heart, soul and essence of Boris's case is that the same rules should apply to him as apply to everyone else. Clearly, when the glittering prize is Boris's blond scalp, they don't.

Quick solution of the Chagos Islands issue in which Britain and Mauritius both lay claim to the archipelago. 1) Britain renounces all title to the islands and recognises the new government. 2) As a goodwill gift, Britain presents the Chagos Islanders with the Elgin Marbles. Sorted.