Peter Rhodes on slavery, skeletons and an Albanian puzzle

Britain's place is in the chilly Atlantic with endless rainfall and the unspeakable French for neighbours. Albania, on the other hand, is warm and beautiful, set beside the shimmering Adriatic and just a stone's thrown from Corfu. The curious part is that while Albanians flock to England for a better life, the English do not flock to Albania. And why might that be, Mr Rama?

The former BBC journalist Laura Trevelyan, already arranging reparations for her family's role in the 18th century slave trade, has found another stinker in her family tree. Her great-great-great-grandfather Sir Charles Trevelyan, was a senior British government official among those who “failed their people” during Ireland's Great Famine in the 19th century. She pledges that her family will consider paying compensation to Ireland.

Trevelyan is learning the first rule of genealogy, namely that the further back you dig the more likely you are to find skeletons in your cupboard. By the nature of family trees, millions of us descend from a few hundred. If the average English family delved deep enough, they would find thieves, murderers, child employers and those involved, no matter how remotely, in slavery. And so would the average American, Irish, Spanish and African family.

By chance, a reader wrote a few days ago to tell me he has taken one of those online DNA tests. It reveals that he is 47 per cent “Scots / Irish / Welsh”, and wonders whether he might qualify for a windfall in reparations for the Highland Clearances and the Irish potato famine. Frankly I doubt it, sir, but you might get a free ticket to the Eisteddfod.

I suggested a few days ago that the new batch of Ford Mustang ambulances for paramedics in London may be a tad over-powered for the job. A reader points out these are electric-powered Mustangs, not the sportier versions. Indeed, their maximum speed is a sluggish 124mph and they go from 0-60mpg in a sclerotic 4.2 seconds. Happy to put the record straight.