Peter Rhodes on mylk, beanz and turning Nato into a massive warhammer

Some vegan food companies are fighting to keep the right to use terms such as “mylk” and “sheese” to describe their products.

Tinkering with the spelling seems fair enough. After all, for years we've all believed that Beanz Meanz Heinz.

However, given the current level of illiteracy in Britain, how many shoppers will spot the difference between milk and mylk? Beanz are, of course, a staple part of the full English breakfast; other ingredients are fryd bakn, egs, blak poodin and 2matos.

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It cannot be easy presenting TV reports involving one of your own colleagues at a time when all your other co-workers, and a breathless public, are watching like hawks for any hint of bias. So full marks to Katie Razzall, culture and media editor for BBC News, for covering the Huw Edwards story with firmness, fairness and clarity throughout.

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On a rather more important topic, President Zelensky of Ukraine must surely understand by now that Britain is prepared to give his embattled country tanks, guns, missiles, bombs, in fact almost anything – except a single British life.

There are good, sound reasons why Ukraine should not be fast-tracked into Nato membership. For a start, Ukraine has to prove its own credentials. In the fog of war we have lost sight of the fact that Ukraine does not have a long or noble history of democracy, and has a grim record of corruption in high places.

Meanwhile, the policy wonks and military specialists are looking at the future shape of Nato, after this bloody war is over.

It will be upgunned with a rapidly growing Polish army, plus the potent and world-beating armour and air force of Sweden, the tough little nut of Finland and, eventually, a Ukrainian army of one million battle-hardened soldiers and fully-trained F-16 pilots.

Nato, struggling to maintain credibility in recent years, could emerge from the Ukraine bloodbath bigger and more powerful than ever, like a massive warhammer poised across Europe.

Such a scenario may comfort you but there is a wise old saying: “If all you have is a hammer, all your problems tend to look like nails.”