Climbing the walls: Standing toe to toe against my fitness demons
Burpees are the devil’s work – I’m pretty sure I’ve already covered that in this column – but I did not realise quite how evil they were until the last couple of weeks.
I suspect there may be many more levels to reach over the coming days.
That is because, thinking it was a bit clever, as well as good for me, I went with the old adage that you should throw yourself into something you really don’t want to do.
So, ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the burpee challenge...
My wife had been nagging away trying to get me to do it for a while (really, she wanted to do it, but didn’t want to do it on her own).
Day one was fine – five burpees. I even showed off by doing another five.
Day two was when I should have realised I was in trouble when reaching 10 came with a rather excruciating amount of cramp down the back of both calves.
Still, press on, 15 wouldn’t be as bad on day three would it? It was.
By now, I hope you are following the gist of this challenge. Increase the number of burpees by five a day, resting every fifth day.
Thursday was day 16 – a second go at 50 burpees (you repeat the number you did before the rest day) – and the day I officially went past the halfway mark.
Yesterday was worse again (55 – numbers ending in five always seem to be the hardest) and as I write I honestly don’t know if there will be 60 on day 18.
Burpees (I have now christened them with a different name unrepeatable in a family newspaper) have a way of catching you out in many different ways.
First, there is just plain cardio and breathlessness, which can be pushed through.
The second is in the legs – I challenge you to get to 40 and not contemplate losing a limb just so you never have to do them again.
My personal demon is the increase in heart-rate.
I hate that feeling when your heart-rate gets so high it feels like it is out of control, and no exercise has ever had that effect on me in the way this does.
Of course, all of these add up to the mental challenge, which makes burpee number one almost as tough in the head as number 20, 30, 40, etc... because you know what is coming.
When will this all end I hear you ask? Thankfully, there is an end point (after which I shall never do another burpee again, ever, until the end of time... No, you can’t make me!).
Sadly, if I don’t give up before, that end point is 100 on day 30. Wish me luck.
